Page 1 of Colby's Lost Binky

Chapter One

Colby

“I’m sorry I don’t have an actual bed for you,” my sister, Sarah, apologized again. It was meant to make me feel better about sleeping on the couch, but all it did was make me feel worse about imposing on her the way I was. It should be me apologizing to her and not the other way around.

I was the one who showed up with a duffel bag in one hand, a backpack over my shoulder, and a rolly suitcase and asked to stay. I was the one who was jobless and homeless. The one crawling back to her and begging her to take me in. The one who had her giving up her living room for me.

“I’m so grateful for the couch or the floor or even the tub. I promise I’ll save up everything I can as soon as I get a job. I’ll be out of your hair before you know it. And I can help pay bills,” I promised.

Was I any closer to having a job than I was when I got wrongfully terminated? Of course not, but I was ready to do what it took, and that had to count for something, right?

Sarah came over and hugged me tight. “Stop. I can help you. We can help you. There’s no reason for you to rush out of here before you’re ready.”

With her husband currently deployed, it was just her and their baby, Theo, in the apartment. Had her husband been around, I’d probably have looked harder for a place to crash. Not that it necessarily would’ve led me someplace different, but I’d have tried.

“Thank you. But, for the record, I know this is just because you feel bad for me.”

Sarah was the one I called when I found Joshua in bed with Ron. I couldn’t begin to count the number of times I wished that I hadn’t come home early. If I had stayed out just a little bit longer, I wouldn’t have seen Daddy in bed with him. Was ignorance truly bliss? I doubted it, but it would be better than this.

And really, the cheating was not the worst of it. It sucked, sure. But I might’ve been able to get over it. Possibly. But of all the people in the world, he freaking had to go do it with my boss. My freaking boss.

It was no surprise to me when I was called into HR the next day and let go. The company wasn’t stupid. No reasons were given as to why that Thursday suddenly became my last day. From their perspective, it made sense. In an at-will state, giving me a cause would put them far more at risk. You could argue against it. Just saying, We no longer need your services left less room for negotiation. And really, it wasn’t as if they would put, Walked in to find his committed partner getting it on with his boss on the form and call it good.

Ron wanted to avoid a scandal. I wouldn’t have given him one, not because I liked him or owed him anything, but I needed the job. He had no way of knowing whether I might create a scene. It had been in his best interest to do what he did, as much as I hated it. This way, if I said anything, he could claim I was a disgruntled former employee making up stories.

Thank gods for my sister. She didn’t even let me finish telling her what happened before offering me a place to stay. We’d always been close, but even so, I didn’t call her until I couldn’t think of anything else to try. She had a family and didn’t need my ass mooching off her.

“Why don’t we put your things in the spare room?” she suggested.

What she called the spare room, one day might become one in truth, but for now, it was glorified storage. When my brother-in-law got his deployment orders, they moved into a smaller apartment. He didn’t want Sarah to have to worry about working too much with a new baby and, in theory, she could scrape by in this place without a job. Bare bones, but she could do it. Now she had too many things in too small a space and to avoid having to rent a storage unit, all of the extra furniture and boxes that didn’t fit ended up in the spare bedroom.

“Yeah, okay.” I carried my bags to the space and set them inside. I really only needed my backpack, and that, I kept with me. It held a few nights’ clothes, my computer, and my binky.

How I would have loved not to need my binky nightly, for my sister not to have to discover my secret. But I did need it, and at least it was kind of attached to a blanket, so she might not notice it. Or, if she did, she could possibly pretend not to.

And even if she walked up to me sucking away, she’d be kind about it. She accepted me exactly how I was. Always had. And sure, she might not know that I sucked on a binky to sleep and liked to wear diapers, but she wasn’t clueless. She’d seen that I didn’t have your normal everyday relationship. Heck, she’d heard me accidentally call him Daddy in front of her.

“Theo’s still sleeping. Do you want me to whip you up something before I have to wake him?” she asked.

“I think I could just use some sleep,” I replied. “I’ll grab something to eat later.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s been a rough trip, and, when I get up, I’ll start looking for a job. I’d offer to watch Theo to help save that daycare money, but if I get a job too soon, you might be in a bad place.” She’d been on a waitlist for this place from the time she discovered she was pregnant. I’d laughed at her at the time, thinking she was being over the top, but she’d been right. As it was, the only reason he got in when he did was because someone moved.

“The waitlists are no joke.” She pulled her hair tie free, letting her shiny locks fall around her shoulders. She hated having her hair up and never used to do it at all, but working in the food industry, it was now a common look for her. “My offer still stands for you to work at the coffeehouse.”

This was the second time she’d mentioned it. The first had been when I was sobbing after being fired. I’d assumed the suggestion was her trying to calm me down and didn’t hold her to it. But now that she brought it up again?

“If I take it, would there be hurt feelings if I had to leave pretty quickly?” Because, honestly, that was the ultimate goal. I wanted to get five job offers in the next week and then pick the best one and snag it. Was that how this job market worked? Not even close. I was 100 percent setting myself up for disappointment.

“If I can be honest in the way only sisters can—I’m hoping you’ll be gone tomorrow,” she teased. Although I suspected she meant gone from her apartment and not her life.

She’d been nagging me to come visit over here for a long time, and I rarely made it out this way. What a fool I’d been. I’d been too wrapped up in what I thought was the perfect life to bother with a backup plan. I lived in a beautiful house, complete with my own nursery. How many littles had that? But, then again, my daddy didn’t really love me, did he? So maybe those hypothetical littles who occupied far less glamorous digs with poorer daddies had it right.

A daddy who really loved you was worth far more than the best nursery in this region.

“I think I’ll take you up on the offer, then,” I said. “I don’t know a ton about coffee, but I love tea, and know enough about it to be dangerous. That has to count, right?”

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