Page 40 of Knot Forgotten

Blake is up and out of sight in the blink of an eye, returning just as fast with a blanket. He covers me up, tucking the soft fabric around me. It smells like him. Sunlight and clean clothes. I inhale deeply, finding the fading musk comforting. Cam, smooths my hair away from my face, his fingers tangling in my curls for a moment.

“We won’t let anyone hurt you,” he says. I meet his blue eyes, and a protective warmth shines from them. It reminds me of when we were teens, but now it feels like something more, something mature. Pure alpha, and my omega heart wants to sing.

“I’m a virgin,” I say, almost frantic. “I can’t be a virgin.”

Cam sucks in a breath and shares a look with Blake. “We are not the ones you should be looking at for that.” Cam shakes his head, warning me away from them, and part of my heart breaks. “I–Rin–I don’t…”

“Cam is a virgin, too,” Blake says, and my eyes widen as I bring my gaze back to Cameron.

“But, I saw you–” I saw nothing because he kept his clothes on and watched that night those girls were here. I swallow. And then in the supply closet, he didn’t want to cum. He told me to withhold his orgasm. I thought it was just edging, but this is more.

“And I have certain likes that aren’t virgin appropriate,” Blake adds.

Riley wants me. I felt it the night he pressed against me, but maybe he has hang ups now, too.

“None of us will be taking your virginity, Rin, so you can stop thinking about it.” Cam halts my thoughts.

Even though I feel as if I’ve been hit by a truck and my muscles are weak, I can’t stay in his arms with the pure rejection falling from his lips. It isn’t like I expected a relationship or anything. The nice gestures of treats and breakfast are just that, nice gestures. Not a declaration of love or intent. They aren’t courting me. I attempt to push away from him, and he holds tight. I slump against him, and his fresh spring breeze scent. He is musking for me, a gentle purr rumbling in his chest in an attempt to calm me.

“Not out of fear, anyway,” he adds, breaking through my heartbreak.

“I wasn’t offering,” I grumble, against his chest, my eyes catching on the ring in his left nipple.

My hormones spike inside of me, and I am positive I’m going to lick said nipple. My stomach flips at the very idea, but I’m saved by my impulsive thoughts when Matt enters the room.

“What is going on?” His deep bass of a voice washes over us, and I manage to wiggle out of Cameron’s hold and away from Blake’s searing touch.

“It’s okay, Matt. I had an anxiety attack. I’m okay.” I’m still technically having one if the tightness in my chest is any indication.

“You fuckers gave her an anxiety attack?” He turns on his friends with a scowl on his face, and Blake looks guilty, gaining Matt’s full attention. “What the fuck did you do? Why do you have a fucking black eye?”

Blake presses his lips together and looks away.

“He went to Rin’s dad’s house and paid him a visit. He didn’t take his meds.”

Matt gathers his curly hair into his hands and gathers it into a hair tie, making a messy man bun out of his springy curls. “How long have you been off the meds, Blake?”

Blake crosses his arms, still unwilling to look at Matt. “What meds?” I ask.

Matt sighs. “He is bipolar and has manic episodes if he doesn’t take his medication. Last time he went off his meds, he was in the hospital for a week. They locked him on the seventh floor, and none of us could see him.”

“I’m fine. You can’t tell me you didn’t want to bash her father’s face in, too. That has nothing to do with being bipolar.”

Cam chuckles. “Actually, I’m pretty sure it does. You know how this works, Blake. You live with it after all. We just don’t want you to end up in the hospital again. We care about you.”

“Blake, did you take your medication?” I ask. I don’t know much about bipolar or manic episodes, but I know that medicine is used to help with symptoms, like the medication I take sometimes to help with high periods of anxiety. It is all about brain chemistry.

“I’m not sick.”

“I didn’t say you were. But I know what it’s like to have your brain lie to you and control behavior. You just witnessed that.”

“If I take the pill, it will make me sleep. I can’t sleep right now, Rin, I have to make everything up to you. You need to know I’m sorry.”

“I know you’re sorry,” I say, because I do, I can see it. Hell, I can feel it. “How about you take the pill, and I lay with you. I’m pretty worn out from my anxiety attack.”

My heart beats painfully in my chest. It is crazy how badly I want to lay in his arms. I want to touch each of them as much as I can. Which is nuts and completely bad for me if I’m trying to keep my heart safe. But maybe, just maybe, I don’t have to safeguard my heart anymore.

“Okay.” Blake stands up, strolls back to the table, and then pops a white pill into his mouth and downs the water bottle.

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