Page 39 of Knot Forgotten

“If you hate it, you don’t have to keep it. I know it is silly.”

I stare at him, my mouth hanging open. How can I not forgive him now? He’s trying, which means I should try too. We can’t build a new bridge if only one of us is working on it, right?

“Can you help me put it on?” I hold it out, my belly flipping over and butterflies attempting to escape as I wait for him to agree.

I don’t wait long before he reaches for the box and quickly takes the necklace out. He stands up, stepping behind me, and brushes my hair gently away from my neck. The cool metal settles right below my collarbone, and I press my fingers over it, the ghost of his touch still on me as he settles back into his seat.

“I’m glad it is finally where it belongs,” he says, nodding to the necklace as I try to turn my attention to the food in front of me.

My gaze catches on a friendship bracelet on Blake’s wrist, and I forget to stop myself as I reach for his wrist. I touch the string, purple and black, I’d made one for each of them. A soft smile pulls at my lips as I remember. They had scoffed and acted like they were too cool for them, but each of them wore them. For me.

“Is this–” I glance up from his wrist, meeting his light gray eyes. He nods, and I can’t help the tear that slides down my cheek. He kept it. “I can’t believe you still have it.”

“Rinny, I have everything you ever gave me.”

Pancakes forgotten for the second time, it feels as if our souls are touching as our eyes lock. I’m tumbling back to a place I never thought I’d be again. Very much in love with someone I can’t have; I won’t destroy them again. I must be starved for attention if some candy and a necklace makes me want to climb into his lap.

Cam clears his throat, pulling us both out of whatever trance we are in, and I focus back on the full plate of food growing cold in front of me. “My bracelet broke, but my wish didn’t come true, until recently,” Cam says, as he sets his pancakes on the other side of me and sinks into a chair.

I’m not sure my hormones can take much more of this alpha care that they are showing. It is a complete one-eighty from before, and I feel like I have whiplash. Not that I’m not enjoying it all, I just don’t know how to react to them.

“Wish?” I ask, almost afraid to hear the answer, which is silly considering I wasn’t even around at that time.

He reaches for the butter, keeping his attention on the stack of cakes he has. He lathers the butter on, and I watch as it melts. Then he pours so much syrup over them that I’m not sure how he will get them on the fork. They are going to be so soggy.

“I wished you’d come back from wherever you disappeared to.” He shrugs like it isn’t a big deal, a sort of half-hearted movement of his shoulders. Still, he isn’t looking at me.

“If I could have stayed I would have,” I say. I know it isn’t my fault I had to run, but it feels like it is.

He nods and shoves syrup-soaked pancakes into his mouth. I glance at Blake again, and he is openly watching me. I’m not sure what to do with his attention. Since I’ve been back in their lives, his gaze skipped over me at most, as if looking at me was uncomfortable. Now, it is almost as if I’m his whole reason for breathing. My chest aches; that can’t be true.

“Blake, are you okay?” I ask, my gaze traveling over his deepening black and swollen eye. “Did you put ice on your eye?” How did you get a black eye, Blake? That is what I really want to ask, but I hold it in. It is almost as if I know; he didn’t sleep, he has things from home—it is almost obvious.

“I’m fine. I don’t need ice.” He waves off my questions, but I can still feel the energy he is putting off.

“Did you–” I swallow. Am I really going to ask? Yes, I am. “Did my dad give you that black eye?”

I know the answer before the slight smile tugs at his lips, and he lifts his gaze to Cameron before bringing it back to me.

“You should see him,” he replies, smoothing his hand over the darkening blood stain on his sweats.

“Shit, Blake,” I gasp.

Anxiety builds up inside my chest, making me feel like I’m going to suffocate. My mom didn’t want me to come to this college because she was convinced that if my dad found out, he would come for me. But she was overprotective after we left. Now, it is becoming a real fear for me.

Would my dad come for me? He would have no way to know I am still a virgin. Right? A whine works its way out of my throat at the thought. I need to fix that. I would be of no value to him if I have had sex. Is that how it works? Fuck, I don’t even know.

“Hey, are you okay?” Cam says, his fingers touching my forearm.

“What if he comes for me?” The words feel choked out of me like there is no air to release them. My palms are clammy, and I can feel my breathing grow shallow. I’m spiraling. I can’t stop it.

My nails make crescent shaped marks in my palms as I try to regulate the emotions swirling inside of me. I start trembling, my chest growing tight, and sweat breaking out on my forehead. Someone loosens my hold on my fork, and then I’m lifted effortlessly into arms, cradled against a firm chest. I shiver, my eyes squeezing shut.

“Breathe, Rin, slow easy breaths, follow mine.” Cam’s calm voice penetrates the haze. “In…Out…In…nice and slow…Out. That’s it. Good. Just breathe.”

The warmth of his bare chest against my cheek as I breathe in and out is calming in a way I’ve missed for years. I crack open my eyes and find Blake right next to us, his fingers curled around my ankle like he needs contact. I understand because I feel it too at this moment.

I tremble in Cam’s arms, and he tightens his hold. “Rin, you’re freezing.”

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