Page 38 of Out of the Darkness

Xavier was a walking red flag, and yet she had ignored all the signs. She had embraced him and his darkness even though a part of her had known it was going to end this way. She had even allowed herself to develop feelings for him, to lose herself in him, and now she was paying the price. She had no one to blame but herself.

The tears in her eyes began to fall more freely now, her chest feeling like it had been cut open and was spilling all over the floor. As hard as it was though, she decided to let herself feel it this time instead of forcing it down. If she allowed herself to feel this pain, if she embraced it for a while, then she would be less inclined to make the same mistake again. Reaching over to the edge of the couch, she grabbed the navy blue sweatshirt of Xavier’s that she had been basically living in the last couple of days.

A soft sob escaped her lips as she pulled it over her head. At the same time, there was a knock on her door. As always, Bernie was right on time. Wiping her face, she pushed herself off the couch and made her way toward the door, grabbing her purse on the way out.

“Hey, kiddo,” Bernie greeted with a smile once she opened the door. “You ready to go?”

“Hey, Bernie. Yeah, I’m ready.”

She stepped out onto the porch and locked the door behind her before Bernie took her arm and led her to the car. It was an old beat-up station wagon that smelled like leather polish and cigars. It fit Bernie perfectly.

“Thanks for doing this, Bernie,” she said as they pulled out onto the road. “I appreciate it.”

He glanced over at her, still beaming. “Of course! Happy to do it. Though, I am surprised that you didn’t ask Melanie. Is… is everything alright between the two of you?”

Madelyn turned her gaze out of the passenger side window, worried that she might start crying again. “Why do you ask?”

She felt rather than saw him shrug. “Like I said, usually, you’d ask Melanie to take you to your appointments. Don’t get me wrong. I really am happy to do it. I just thought she’d be far better company. Not to mention the fact that you look like crap.”

“Hey!” she exclaimed with a small, weak laugh. “I look like crap because I’m sick.”

“Maybe that’s part of it, but I know you well enough to know that there’s something else going on with you too,” he replied. “You can’t hide that shit from a seasoned detective. Add to that the fact that Melanie has been just as depressed and has snapped at everyone at the station more than a few times, and it’s easy to put two and two together. Did you guys get into a fight or something?”

It didn’t bring her any form of joy knowing that Melanie was seemingly suffering too. In fact, she hated it because it was all her fault.

She chewed on her cheek, trying to keep the emotion from her voice. “Not a fight so much as a very big disagreement. It’s not like we started throwing fists or anything.”

“Well, what was the disagreement about? Anything I can do to help? I do have a wealth of knowledge, you know.”

“I appreciate that,” she said truthfully. “But I don’t think there’s anything anyone can do. Melanie made it clear that she’s done with me.”

“Well now. I don’t believe that for a second.”

Madelyn looked over at him and lifted an eyebrow in question.

Bernie just shrugged again, not taking his eyes off the road. “Come on. I’ve seen the two of you together. You guys are like sisters. And sisters fight all the time. I have little doubt that the two of you will work it out in no time.”

That was one of the things Madelyn loved about Bernie. He had one of the biggest hearts of anyone she knew, and he had the kind of optimism that was contagious. It managed to ignite a small spark of hope within her chest despite her attempts to squash it back down. She wanted nothing more than to believe that she and Melanie could reconcile and go back to the way things were before she had let a man come between them.

However, Madelyn was worried about getting her hopes up. A part of her knew that the chances of that were slim. After everything she had done when it came to Xavier, she didn’t blame Melanie either.

A gentle pat on her leg from Bernie pulled her out of her thoughts. She glanced up at him to see him looking at her expectantly. Apparently, he had attempted to continue the conversation but she had been too lost in her own mind to realize it.

She shook herself mentally. “What? Sorry.”

“Nothing. Nevermind.” He paused for a moment before a small smile spread across his lips. “So, you got a new man in your life yet?”

Madelyn couldn’t help but laugh. Not only because of the sudden change in topic but also because of the irony behind his question. If only he knew how closely the two topics were related.

Chapter Eighteen

Madelyn

Pregnant.

As much as she didn’t want to believe it, that was what the test results she held in her hand said clear as day. That and she was mildly anemic. Either way, it explained why she had felt like such crap these last few days. She was pregnant, and only one guy could be the father. It just didn’t make any sense. It shouldn’t have been possible.

When she had come into the clinic and told them about her symptoms, they had insisted on running a whole battery of tests, ‘just to be safe’. Vitals, blood, urine—they had done it all. While she didn’t know what she had expected; cold, flu, stomach bug, she didn’t once even consider that this might be the cause.

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