Page 19 of Shattered Wings

“You don’t always have to babysit me, Jaxon. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”

“I know you’re a big girl, but I still worry. It scares me that some douche from that lame ass school could take advantage of you.”

“Give me a break. You aren’t my mom. I’ll be safe.”

“You’re my girl, Illiana. It’s my job to keep you safe. But fine, I get it. Go have fun with Lexa. Just call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Jax.”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

What’s that noise, and where am I? My brain is so foggy. I can’t remember what happened. Why can’t I remember? All I know is that I was just dreaming about Jaxon and me when we were both freshman in high school. Come on Lia, think. Open your eyes. Why can’t I open my eyes? Exhaustion takes me under. Deeper and deeper I go until I’m in a void of nothingness and everything goes black.

“It sucks that Jaxon can’t go to the party with us tonight? We would have had so much fun.” Lexa bounces on the edge of my bed while I put my converse on. I might have told Jaxon that I really wanted to go to the party, but I’m so tired. I’d rather just sleep. Lexa is insistent, though, and I don’t want to let her down.

“I’m sure we’ll have fun either way. Jax is helping his mom with something tonight. If he could get away, I’m sure he’d be there. But since you’re dragging me out tonight, I really don’t feel like having a babysitter. He’s been so bossy lately. Who knew that starting high school would turn him into a big man child?” Lexa just gives me a weird look, but I brush it off.

“At least Jax cares about you, Lia. You’re a really lucky girl.” Is that jealousy I hear in her voice? No, that can’t be right. She and Jax have always bickered like an old married couple. To be honest, I don’t even think they like each other much. They most likely tolerate one another because of me.

“Jax is a great guy. I just want a bit of space to discover who I am without him for a little while. We’ve practically been best friends since we were in diapers.”

“I get it, I really do. Put your sexy little bikini in your bag so we can go. I can’t wait for you to meet Ava.”

Water surrounds me but as I look up, all I can see is raven black hair and the most beautiful emerald green eyes I’ve ever seen, staring back at me. And then he smiles. OH. MY. GOD. His smile is one of the most beautiful smiles I’ve ever seen. The next thing I know, he’s walking towards me. Holy Shit! Eyeing his body up and down, this guy has muscles in places I didn’t even know you could have muscles. They sure know how to breed them right in the South. Looking over at Lexa, she already has her eyes set on him, a coy smile playing on her face.

She introduces us, but before she has a chance to tell him much, I say, “My name is Illiana, but all my friends call me Lia.” He just looks at me with a breathtaking smile. I could look into those green eyes all day long and never tire of them. They look like the deepest depths of a forest, with just a sliver of light. Just one look in his eyes has my skin pebbling with goosebumps. It feels like a fire has been lit in my veins. No one, not even Jax, has made me feel this way with just one look. My heart’s practically about to pound out of my chest. I swear something clicks into places and I feel whole, complete in ways that I’ve never felt before.

“My name is Lachlan, but you can call me Lach. All my friends do,” he says with a wink. A fucking wink! And I’m a goner. Oh, he’s good. This guy knows just what he’s doing, and I’m here for it. “You wanna go have a drink with me, Ellie?” And he’s smirking again.

A blush covers my face at the nickname he’s given me. “Y..yes, I’d love that.” Lexa scoffs next to me, but at this point, I couldn't care less about what she thinks. “Let me get out. Meet me down by the steps,” I say, moving towards the exit. Calling over my shoulder, I tell Lexa that, “I’ll be back, Lexa.”

Reaching the steps, Lachlan holds out his hand for me. Awe such a gentleman. “Let’s go get that drink,” he says, pulling me in next to him.

Over the next hour, Lachlan and I talked about anything and everything. He tells me about leaving this small town behind. Joining the military has been one of his dreams ever since he can remember. As soon as he’s of age, he’ll be enlisting. His parents have money but he wants to make a life for himself. This guy is amazing. He’s freaking brilliant. I don’t think that I’ve met a guy as smart as he is in all my life. I admire his motivation and determination. Instead of spending his parent’s money, he wants to prove that he can make it on his own.

It feels like we’ve been in our own little world for hours. Before it’s time to go, he pulls me aside. “Ellie, all I’ve wanted to do all night long is kiss these perfect lips.” He runs his finger along my jaw in a gentle stroke. My pulse hammers in my neck. I’m sure if he were to look, he’d see it fluttering like a butterfly ready to take flight. Kissing is something I have yet to experience. “Can I kiss you, Illiana?” My breath catches as he leans in closer. “Just a small little kiss on these perfect bow lips. That’s all I’m asking, baby doll.” The smile on his face takes my breath away. But I want this. I want his lips on mine. It feels like I might die if that doesn’t happen.

One word. All it takes is one word. “Please,” I whisper. In an instant, his lips are on mine. It’s everything I’ve ever dreamed that a first kiss would be, and more, so much more. It’s not hurried or frenzied. This kiss is gentle, it’s an all-consuming soul finally connecting with its missing piece after a lifetime apart kind of kiss. And now I don’t know how I’ll ever live the rest of my life without this boy.

Lachlan and I spent one beautifully tragic year together. And then I got sick. He tried, he tried so hard to be there for me. But I shut him out, pushed him away because I thought that would be what was best for him. He was my secret, and I was his. He would have screamed it from the rooftops that I was his if I would have let him, but I didn’t. I should have known that secrets were always meant to be broken. Both his heart and mine were broken in the same instant. I destroyed something that could have been an epic kind of love.

Chemo messed with my mind, my memory, and over time, I simply forgot about Lachlan and how much I loved him. Or maybe it was the fact that Jaxon was always there, always around to help me, to be there for me. I simply can’t pinpoint when it all went wrong. When my memories faded into embers, lost in an eternal flame. If I could go back, I’d choose to live a million lifetimes surrounded by the love that Lachlan would have given me.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

A warm hand holds mine, as a finger moves in soothing circles on my wrist. Round and round it goes. It’s a featherlight touch, but it feels mesmerizing. The scent of sandalwood and vanilla fills my senses, but I can feel myself fading fast. My eyelids flutter as blackness engulfs me.

Lachlan

This woman’s soul has entwined itself with mine since I was sixteen years old. An eternal flame sparked to life the moment our eyes connected all those years ago. Looking at her frail body lying lifeless in this damn hospital bed is shredding my heart to pieces. I have an overwhelming urge to tell her so many things. Maybe I should have been honest years ago. But I can’t go back and change the past now. It’s too late to do that. Hope for the future is what I cling too. She was supposed to be my forever. All I can hope is that one day she’ll remember me, remember the love we shared.

The doctors promised to gradually taper off the sedation medication that keeps her unconscious. And they have started that process. I can only hope and pray that she wakes up soon. It’s already been two days. I hoped it would be sooner than that. My warm hand engulfs her much smaller one. It’s cold to the touch. Leaning forward, I press a gentle kiss to each knuckle, threading my fingers with hers.

Standing up, I tenderly wrap my arms around her neck. God, I love this woman. She’s the love of my life. “Wake up for me, Ellie. Please do this for me. Wake up,” I whisper against the sensitive skin of her ear, pleadingly. “I love you, Ellie. I love you so much. So please wake up for me, baby.” Kissing her forehead, I sit back down, linking my fingers with hers yet again. This time, I feel her fingers twitch against mine. Hope sparks to life in my veins.

“That’s it, baby. Come on, open those beautiful blue eyes for me. Let me see you, Ellie.” Her lashes flutter, but they don’t open. Her hand lightly grips mine, so I’ll take that as a win. “I’m here Ellie and I will never leave your side again. Just open your eyes for me. There’s so much we have to talk about.” She squeezes my hand again. “I’m going to press the call button for a nurse.” This is a positive sign, though.

Pressing the red button, static crackles and then a woman’s voice sounds throughout the room.

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