A giggle erupts in my brain that comes out of nowhere, but it makes me short-circuit for a moment. My wolf doesn’t just claw at my insides; his whole paw practically rips through my skin—or that’s what it feels like.
Our bond, it’s…beautiful, she whispers in my mind. I want to see your wolf. Show him to me. Let me see all of you.
I pull away from Ava and pant heavily. Her eyes search mine as she grips my shoulders. “Is it working?”
“Yes,” I heave, but deep-red pain soars through me.
It’s been a long damn time since I last shifted, and I can only imagine how my bones have become used to my human form. I jump down from the boulder and grip my hair as heat tears me from the inside out.
“Jax–” Ava’s voice calls from behind me.
Stay back, I warn her.
My back arches with a loud crack at the same time my clothes begin to tear. I heave out shaky breaths as every single bone grows and snaps into a thousand uncomfortable positions. A growl forms at the top of my lungs as fur bursts from my skin and my paws hit the ground.
I take a moment to control my breathing. I turn around to face Ava through my yellow eyes. She’s still sitting on top of the boulder, a hand covering her lips.
“Holy–” she cuts herself off.
My paws grind into the dirt, and I exhale through my snout. I can smell every single thing, including Ava’s earth-shattering scent. I thought it was powerful before, but now, it’s like she’s been laced through my veins and is here to stay.
You’re back, I say to my wolf as he stretches out every limb.
He vibrates in response, and I already know what he thinks.
This is all thanks to our mate.
20
AVA
Jaxon’s wolf is larger than any other wolf I’ve ever seen. His fur is black and thick, and his yellow luminous eyes glow back at me. The size of one of his paws is bigger than my head. He’s not just big; he’s huge.
I jump down from the boulder on shaky legs, and then press my back into the rock. I’m not scared of him, but I’ve never seen a wolf like his. If I saw him alone in the woods, I’d be running for the hills. But he breathes through his nose softly and takes a step forward.
It’s okay, he reassures me through our mindlink. His soft voice wraps around my brain and sends soothing motions through my spine, for which I’m grateful. I can see the concern in your eyes.
My head shakes. “Just startled,” I admit. “Are Alphas bigger than normal wolves?”
Yes. I’m a lot bigger than I remember. It’s been a while.
“Is he a completely different subconscious to you?”
Yes. I believe so. We have separate minds, separate wants. He lives in my human body whilst I live in his shifted body.
“But you have full control of your wolf?” I ask slowly.
Always. His instincts might be sharper and more determined, but I still own the brain to our bodies. It’s a complicated idea to wrap your head around, but you can trust me. You can trust him.
I swallow gently. “I know. Your eyes are gleaming yellow.”
My parents like to call it a strange mutation, considering I have blue eyes. Lucy’s wolf’s eyes are blue, and my parents’, too. But mine turned out yellow.
“I think it’s to make you look fiercer,” I blurt. “Like you were born to be an Alpha.”
Jaxon’s laughter fills my mind. I close my eyes with satisfaction from the sound. Do you want to come closer?
I blink once and then twice. “Yeah,” I whisper.