Page 56 of Second Chance Mates

My throat feels like razor blades.

“It’s okay, Ava. Take your time,” Gemma says softly.

I open my eyes to find Jaxon staring back at me with a sensitive expression.

“I don’t want to associate him with Damon, Lucien’s Beta. He did things to me the others didn’t. He hurt me. He took from me. He violated me in more ways than any of the others. And I can feel that Kayden and–” I take a second. “Damon are different people, but my brain seems to think I have to be cautious—just in case.”

Gemma hums softly. “And is seeing Kayden a trigger for you?”

I nod. “But I don’t want it to be.”

“It’s something we can definitely work through,” she says. “Did something happen before this?”

“I was alone with him in the kitchen. Nothing happened. He saw I didn’t look well and helped me onto a chair before I passed out. I wish I could take the reins on these thoughts, but I can’t. It feels impossible.” I begin pacing again.

“Well, how about you try being around Kayden but with other people present? People you are comfortable with. Lucy, perhaps.”

My gaze immediately settles on Jaxon’s. “I’m feeling a lot more comfortable with Jaxon now,” I admit.

“That’s great.” Gemma’s expression widens. “Taking one day at a time. That’s wonderful, Ava.”

“If anything is ever wrong, you know you can mindlink me,” Jaxon adds, and the smoothness of his voice sends chills down my spine. “I felt your distress. That’s why I came down to see what was going on.”

I look at Gemma. “Our bond does that now. It’s growing stronger than before.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

“Good and scared.”

“Scared, why?”

“I’m scared I won’t know how I’m truly feeling because the bond is masking it,” I explain with my fingers entangled. “I know it doesn’t tell me what to feel, but I worry it’s all an illusion, and I’ll be left with nothing at the end of it.”

Gemma folds her arms over her chest casually. “And I totally understand that, Ava. I do. But like you said, bonds don’t tell you what to feel. If anything, they tell the truth. All the things you feel with Jaxon might seem like they’re forced, but they’re not. Your body wouldn’t allow you to feel him unless you bring your walls down on your own and accept him in.”

My brows crease. Is that true?

“Do you remember when you first met?”

“Yeah.”

“How did you feel the bond, then?”

I clear my throat. “It was non-existent.”

“Exactly, because you weren’t accepting it. But now that you’ve experienced the bond, your body and emotions are letting it in slowly. None of it is fake by any means. Being with Jaxon might calm your panic and help you when you’re having a bad day, but you’re only accepting his help because your body trusts that it’s safe. I think in your subconscious, you think it, too.”

“Oh,” I exhale and stop pacing.

Jaxon’s lip curls. “Everything you’ve done in the last few months has been down to you, Ava,” he states. “I might have helped along the way, but for you to get where you are today, that’s all you. It has nothing to do with our bond. You came to Gemma on your own accord, and you’ve been making an effort with Lucy. Do you have bonds with them like you do with me?”

I let my lashes brush my cheek as an unknown feeling washes over my chest. It feels a lot like pride, but I don’t let myself hold onto it for too long. “No,” I whisper.

“No,” he clarifies with soft eyes, making my knees melt. “You did all of that on your own because you are strong—a lot stronger than you believe you are. And I’ll remind you every day until you believe it, too.”

My cheeks heat, remembering the note he left me this morning. Thank you, I say through our mindlink without hesitation.

Don’t thank me for stating the truth. I’m your mate, and I will support you through every wobble, through your tears, through your doubts. All of it.

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