Iknew the weeks that came next wouldn’t be easy for Ava. Some days, she’d continue to shut herself in her room and not come out to eat or show her face. On other days, she’d only want to talk to Lucy. At least she’s found comfort in my sister. I barely had a chance to speak to her, but I know gaining her trust is something that will not happen overnight. I’m ready to persist.
She hasn’t wanted to be in the same room as me without Lucy to make her feel at ease. I don’t take it to heart. She deserves to be understood. As much as it hurts, I know she needs time and space.
Over the last two weeks, I’ve thought of Julia constantly. A part of me knows I shouldn’t be diving into this new bond with Ava because my love for Julia won’t magically disappear. She was my Luna. Now, I have been graced with another.
Some days, I grieve. But, some days, my wolf forces my attention towards Ava.
It alarms me how easily he has moved on. It’s as if she never even existed in his world, and it makes my head ache. It’s a clusterfuck of emotions I can’t seem to control. We are two separate entities with different perspectives.
I’m stuck between wanting to hold onto my non-existent bond with Julia and allowing myself to feel the new bond with Ava. I don’t want Julia to think I’ve forgotten about her because I haven’t. She was my life and soul.
Every day, I’m sick to my stomach with guilt.
In this time, I’ve been working closely with Kayden. He looked after the pack for nine gruelling months, and now, I’m ready to take the reins again. My pack deserves an Alpha that actually shows up for them, and I’m ashamed to admit I became someone I hated.
Today, I leave the house for the first time in a while. Lucy reassures me she’ll look after Ava. My Alpha duties don’t stop because of my past and present mate bonds. I still have to make an effort for my pack—I refuse to let them down after they were so patient with me.
I trust Lucy with Ava. She’s made herself known to the other members of my pack, but her shyness has her hiding away in her room when she’s overwhelmed. If she feels safe in her room, then I won’t take that away from her.
When she officially met Kayden, I’d never seen a face pale as quick as hers. I don’t know what she saw in my Beta, but whatever it was, she truly feared it. I can only imagine he reminds her of someone in the past, and until she feels comfortable around him, I won’t force their company. Not when she’s still healing.
Despite not spending much time with each other the last few weeks, the bond is growing stronger between us. I didn’t think much of it until I left the house, and the tugging on my heartstrings was begging me to go back. I have no idea if she feels half of what I feel, but my wolf’s desperation is destroying me internally.
After three long hours of meetings in the district amongst our allied packs, I gladly left with the information I came for. I’ve had my eyes set on hunting down Lucien and his wolves, but first, I needed some inside details.
The Stagborn Pack.
All men. All vile creatures.
I discovered his whereabouts, which is west of our district. I’m eager to hunt, invade, and attack until none of them are left. All we need now is to set a plan that will give us the greatest advantage.
When I finally get back to the pack house, I exhale in relief. I made it through the day without my heart ripping out of my chest—I’ve missed the warmth a bond can give you. It’s chilling and beautiful at the same time.
The weather outside takes a dark turn, as the skies are covered in grey clouds. Heavy rain pours on the pebbled floor. It echoes loudly in my ears as I walk through the front door. I make my way to the kitchen, where I find Lucy and Phia, my sister’s closest friend in the pack.
“Where’s Ava?” I ask, interrupting their conversation.
Phia offers me a small smile. “Hi, Alpha Jaxon.”
“She’s outside,” Lucy says before turning back to Phia.
I frown immediately. “What do you mean outside?”
Lucy glances up before extending her arm towards the window that overlooks a small patio. “Look for yourself.”
I’m moving towards the window faster than I can blink. My gaze flicks towards my mate standing outside in the rain, barefoot on the wet grass and drenched to the bone. “What the–” I cut myself off. “Why is she outside?”
“She wanted to go outside. She said something about seeing the rain.”
My eyes widen. Lucy must be out of her damn mind. “Are you stupid? What if she ran off? What if she got hurt?”
She rolls her eyes at me, and I clench my jaw. “And you’re the one saying she needs to trust you.”
“Lucy–” I clench the bridge of my nose and walk towards the back door.
“She promised she wouldn’t run off; she just wanted to see the rain.”
“And you believed her?”