Page 96 of Stir

My firm—such as it is—has been in the black since my second year in business, but he’ll never let me forget he fronted me the money for that first year’s lease.

“You will not, under any circumstances, repeat any more of that filthy gossip in front of your mother ever again. Do you understand me?”

“Yes.” I’m frankly surprised he didn’t decide to deliver this lecture in person. But Nicholas Pendergrass Sr. doesn’t do anything without a plan, which means there’s probably another reason for this call. “Anything else? We’re about to go to lunch.”

“We?” The amount of sneering he packs into one syllable is almost impressive. “You wouldn’t be talking about that pretty girl in your office, would you?”

I object immediately, but he doesn’t even acknowledge the interruption, talking right over me.

“Oh, but I’m sure you are. So protective of your little Girl Friday last time I was there. And so offended on your mother’s behalf when all this time you’re just a chip off the old block.” My whole body goes cold.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

He laughs, viciously.

“I’m talking about you using that mall cop you hired to cover up the fact that you’re screwing your secretary,” he says scornfully. “Jesus, Nic. Nobody cares about that kind of thing. Covering it up is unmanly. Get a fucking grip.”

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“You and the delicious girl in your office,” he says. “You could have just told me you’d already cornered that lot. I know how it goes. But when you’re finished with her?—”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” I manage to say, my gorge rising.

He laughs again. At me, not with me. “Don’t be such a pussy, Nic.” His voice hardens. “And don’t be a fucking hypocrite, not when there are pictures of you all over the fucking Internet cavorting in public. You don’t get to play the saint, acting like I’ve somehow offended your delicate sensibilities.”

Cavorting in public. “What pictures?”

“Oh, knock it off. You went to that TV network thing a couple of weeks ago. Surely even you could deduce it’s a publicity stunt.”

The Sizzle HQ Ball. Of course. We’d posed for that picture together.

“You don’t get to sit on your goddamn high horse,” he continues. “And I don’t ever want to hear you bringing up such bullshit in front of your mother ever again. Do you understand me?”

I hang up. There’s nothing else to say, and certainly, I’ve heard enough.

How I ever thought my feelings for Natalie—or Finn, for that matter—were anything like my father’s for his various women is beyond me. All the slinking around in the dark, the lies, the subterfuge, the inside jokes with his buddies… it was never about sex for him. It wasn’t even about power, I don’t think. It was about getting away with something.

Natalie and Finn, who they are, what they are to me… it’s none of that. Not the same at all, not even in the same universe.

I’ve been an idiot.

Finn’s been peeking around the corner from the front room since I answered the call. I meet his eyes, letting the full force of everything I’ve just realized, all my feelings show. Damn the consequences.

I’m not hiding anymore. They’re worth it.

“Boss?”

I stand up, circling my desk, eyes never leaving his. So blue, bottomless. All that competence, all that strength. All that, for me and Natalie, if we can keep it.

It’s time to try. No more being afraid. No more hiding.

Finn’s eyes widen as I cup his cheeks in my hands.

“What—”

The kiss tastes like frustration and desire and sweet capitulation. He groans against my lips, and for just a little while, I lose time.

This is what we should be from now on, all three of us together. When Natalie gets back up here, I’m going to tell them so. I don’t ever want to be without them again.

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