Page 74 of The Heir's Bargain

Although I had known this for a while, my mother's words shocked me. She had only ever said kind things about Rosalina.

"Sweetie, mouth closed, please. It is unbecoming of a prince."

I blinked, stumbling for the words I wished to say.

She scoffed, the amusement slipping through her regal demeanor, a crack in the porcelain. "Do not act so surprised. She neither has been nor is that discrete about her desires for her future."

"Why were you pushing me to court her then?"

My mother tapped a finger along the glass she held in her hand. "The idea of her, I think, made you happy. All I have ever wanted for you was for you to be happy, son."

I stared at my mother, unsure what to say, as she looked up at me.

She tilted her head ever-so-slightly. "Danisinia makes you happy, does she not?"

I chewed on my cheek, glancing back at the oak doors. The guests flowing through the entrance had begun to dwindle, and the start of the ball was quickly approaching. Yet I still had not seen Dani walk through those doors. She said she was coming with her parents, but even her parents had yet to show.

"Dani is my best friend, Mother. She has always made me happy."

"Have you told her that?"

My brows twisted together. "What do you mean?"

"Have you told Dani how you feel about her?"

"Mother, we are courting."

She sighed. "Sometimes, it is not enough simply to put a label on something. After all, just because the castle is a house does not make it a home."

Now, she was indeed not making any sense.

I rubbed my temples and peered down at my glass.

My mother reached out, wrapping her delicate fingers around my hand and squeezing it once. Her sea-blue eyes peered through me, waves of emotion swimming inside them. "You are young, but you will not be young forever. Do not let the fear of the unknown hold you back from living, son. We are only granted so much time; use it."

When I still had yet to make sense of her words, she released a long sigh. "You have looked at the door more times than I can count."

"How did you?—"

"I listen, and I observe. You may think your and Terin's gifts are different, but they are more alike than you realize. You float through everyone's minds, but how much time do you spend in your own?"

I pressed my lips together, unable to answer her truthfully.

"You worry too much, Fynneares."

"Mother, I?—"

"Listen and observe," she said, interrupting and tapping my arm. "You do not need to be anyone else but you to be a good king. While your eyes may drift during conversations about the kingdom's coin or the status of ongoing trades, you care about the kingdom's heart. That alone will make you a good king. What I do worry about, however, is your ability to be happy." My mother's voice grew somber, a small line deepening between her eyebrows. "For your entire life, I have watched you push people away out of fear of loving them too much and having them ripped away from you. I have watched you stretch a smile across your face simply because you thought it was what you had to do. You are allowed to be sad, Fynneares. But please, listen to me when I say that, more than anything, you are allowed to be happy. Ruling is already a lonely act. Do not let her go simply because you are afraid."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and whispered, "Thank you, Mother."

She squeezed my arm and walked off, weaving her way through the crowd with her head held high.

Despite myself, I turned to the doors once more.

"She'll come," I said to myself. "She has to."

But the more I repeated it, the more I began to question it.

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