Page 49 of His Theo

Why was toilet paper math so weird?

Why did they try to sell vegetables that were clearly going bad at the same price as healthy ones?

Somehow, sex was an easier topic, but I still wasn’t sure how that was possible.

“I am right.” Reading over the ingredient list on the back of the bag one more time, he seemed distracted enough that I let myself smile.

He caught me.

One limb came up and caressed my head. “I am not adorable, my Theo.”

Oh, we were going to agree to disagree on that topic, and the quiet chuckle coming from behind us said someone else agreed with me too.

“I think it’s more about fun than nutrition.” A woman who seemed to be nearing forty pushed her cart closer to the man who’d laughed behind us and nodded toward the dino nuggets. “We seem to think kids need food to be fun for them to eat it. Other cultures don’t do that so it’s probably an American thing.”

Probably, but I wasn’t going to point out that it was my smart-ass comment about dino nuggets being better than regular ones that’d gotten me into the ridiculous conversation. So I simply nodded and just tried to get past the situation that seemed like it was going to get awkward.

Jerker didn’t see the situation the same way.

“Adding enjoyment to activities is not a negative characteristic in itself.” Turning the package around to look at the front again, he finally shrugged and added it to our cart. “I am more inclined to think that adult humans have designed the food for themselves and not for children.”

I had no idea what to say to his comment or her confusion, but I knew my desire to laugh was completely inappropriate.

“I have observed statistically more human adults desiring foods in nontraditional shapes than human children.” Jerker said that so confidently, it made me wonder how often he’d been going to the grocery store lately.

Over the past week, he’d mentioned running errands to make sure he had everything he needed to take care of me, but I was starting to think I should’ve asked more questions instead of letting him distract me.

Fuck.

He’d been deliberately distracting me.

“In this situation, your male human partner would prefer these over the package you have chosen. Does he need to have fun-shaped food to encourage eating?” Jerker waited, clearly expecting an answer to his question but they were both just gaping at him.

So he turned to me.

“Is questioning human nutritional preferences taboo?” Looking confused and back to being adorable, he sighed. “It is not related to sexuality, finances, or domination-based relationships.”

He was so cute it was impossible to be embarrassed.

“You’re right. It’s not on the taboo list of human discussion topics, but I think they were just surprised.” I shrugged. “Our brains kind of stop when we encounter something unexpected.”

“Ah.” Jerker’s studious expression turned to examine the humans in front of us who’d suddenly gotten even more interesting. “Is it a before…no, an evolutionary adaptation? From before fight or flight? Like the large animals who stand in front of vehicles when they are startled?”

Good question.

“Probably.” Yep, we were deer in the headlights in a lot of situations. “You weren’t rude, though.”

He was just unexpected in a lot of ways.

“Mike wants dino nuggets?” The woman whose brain had started to come back online turned and frowned at her wide-eyed husband or boyfriend, maybe. I couldn’t see a ring but that didn’t mean anything lately. “I thought we bought these for your sister’s kids.”

Oh.

Blink.

Blink.

“We do?”

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