Page 33 of His Theo

How to take care of the human he’d found.

“If we’re together in the morning, at the very least, talking about the plans for the day makes sense and would probably make me feel good.” Yeah, I could see enjoying that kind of domestic scene with him.

It’d be like living out the kinky version of one of those old fifties sitcoms.

“But we don’t need to have long conversations. We can do that in the evening on workdays. Like when we go out on dates or if you want to call and talk.” Yes, that didn’t sound too needy. “If you’re not here when I’m getting ready for work, I’d probably text you good morning or something like that as long as it didn’t drive you crazy.”

He made a noncommittal thinking sound as he plated up the most perfect breakfast sandwich I’d ever seen. “All forms of communication will be something I encourage, my Theo.”

I had a feeling that would be an understatement.

“So that means I can text you first thing without worrying I’ll annoy you?” My question had him looking at me like he thought I was confused about reality. “I just want to make sure. Clear communication, right? I thought that was what you were saying but I want to make sure I can’t start worrying over it later.”

That had his thinking face coming back and he made quiet sounds that I had a feeling were for my benefit.

Fuck it.

“Do you make sounds when you think so I know what you’re doing?” It really sounded like a stupid question until he nodded and looked at me like I was the smartest little puppy he’d ever seen.

“Yes.” He was so proud of me he even patted my head as he went back over to the stove. “Humans require several layers of communication. The first-contact team discovered that very quickly. Without the ability to sense hormonal changes and other physical reactions, you have built in a variety of nonword-based information exchanges.”

Oh.

“So we didn’t react well without the clues?”

How not well?

Jerker nodded, probably another human thing he’d learned to do just for us, and went back to moving around the kitchen. “Please eat, my Theo. The temperature of human food changes its taste and viscosity.”

He was so cute.

“Yes, Sir.”

My reward for taking a bite was for him to continue the story. “From the report I was provided, the first-contact team was met with suspicion and unreasonable fear when we went from electronic communications to in-person discussions.”

Online to in person.

Got it.

“And that turned out to be about sounds?”

Really?

Humans were weird but not that weird, right?

“Yes.” As he started to make what looked like it would be several more sandwiches, he nodded. “The political leaders began as polite but it quickly…unvolved?”

“Devolved.”

Once I’d given him the word I thought he’d been looking for, he perked up and storytime got back on track. “Yes. Our natural state is still and quiet. We are not prey.”

Oh.

I hadn’t thought of that.

“And we started worrying that you guys were the boogie man or some kind of predator out to eat us.” It would’ve been like some kind of Hollywood horror movie.

“If I understand your expressions, yes.” Master sighed, another humanism I appreciated. “However, one of the human first-contact team members had worked with a variety of remote Earth-based civilizations and was able to explain the problem.”

---