Page 2 of His Theo

They were ridiculous.

There were going to be a ton of humans with better jobs, more money, more interesting lives, and countless other things. Hell, there were going to be humans in there who could pick their dinner and kneel quietly without starting to plan what they were going to clean first at work the next day.

Scientists were a mess.

“You guys have lost your minds, but I still appreciate being asked to come.” It wasn’t every day that I got asked to go to a humans and aliens mixer.

Nicholas rolled his eyes again, seeing right through me. “They won’t care what you do for a living, and if you get wiggly, they’ll just wrap you up in a tentacle. You’re worrying over nothing.”

Giving me a stern glare like he sometimes gave his boss, he was looking at me like I was a student who’d asked a stupid question. “I’m only going to say this one more time. They’re aliens. Duh.”

He was such a pain in the ass.

But he was a smart pain in the ass and he knew single aliens and was happy to share…so I was going to be polite.

“Alright.”

Lying was always acceptable when people were being ridiculous, but his groan said he’d seen right through it. “Inside, before I kill you and we lose out on bringing the best human because I have to bury your body.”

Larry sighed dramatically.

He didn’t approve of Nicholas’s habit of threatening to kill people on a daily basis but he’d stopped asking if his mate was seriously considering it. They’d definitely made progress as a couple.

“We shall be late if our conversation extends in duration.” Giving his mate a little push and me a nod, Larry started moving us toward the restaurant. “We will make the appropriate greetings to introduce our human friend Theo to others he may be interested in mating, and then we shall find a place to sit where he can visually inspect the perspective mates.”

He made it sound like I was picking out my favorite stripper at a club.

I managed not to groan but I was so red I was probably purple. “Thank you for explaining what will happen next.”

“You’re welcome.” Larry was so pleased at my good manners he patted my head making Nicholas giggle. “I will also be happy to provide assistance if your submission requires help in picking out the right meat to consume. Nicholas does not find that to be too intimate, so you need not worry about our relationship.”

Was it weird that I wanted my own awkward alien Dom to overexplain shit?

Probably.

And I’d clearly been hanging out with them too often if all of their insanity made sense.

“Thank you, Larry.” I wasn’t sure what my tone or hormones were saying but I tried not to look like I thought I was stupid. “I appreciate the help.”

Larry got confused when he thought I wasn’t appreciating myself enough and I didn’t want to have to live through that conversation again. Thankfully, whatever I was radiating was either confusing enough or mixed up enough that self-deprecation wasn’t the primary thing he noticed.

“You are welcome, our human friend Theo.” My worries hadn’t dimmed his excitement because he was still puffed up like he’d won a Nobel prize. “There is no need to worry. Your attraction to tentacles and eagerness to mate will be obvious, so you will not have to attempt to communicate those intentions.”

I didn’t have to talk about being horny and liking tentacles because they’d already know that.

Great.

Nicholas was back to snickering as we finally got up to the door and he gave his mate a kiss as Larry opened it for us. “Thank you, baby.”

“You are welcome, my mate.” Larry gave Nicholas a multi-limbed caress as his human mate walked in the door.

I got a smile because you just didn’t wander around caressing other humans once you had a mate, but I appreciated it. “Thank you.”

I had every intention of shifting to small talk and trying to look functional at the very least but my brain skidded to a halt once I took everything in.

There were so many people and so many tentacles.

Logically, I knew Nicholas had said that a large group had gotten together and rented out the restaurant because it was a local favorite, but I just hadn’t realized how many people would be there. The mix of humans and non-humans said everyone had done their best to bring their favorite human sub to show off.

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