Page 94 of The Heat of Us

Mine. He smelled like mine.

“I don’t want you to see it,” I crumbled.

Ben kissed me. One set of eyelashes then the other. “Why not, sweetness?” he asked, exceedingly gentle.

This was Ben.

Telling him because you won’t want me didn’t make sense. Didn’t align with the alpha who had done nothing but care for me.

“J-just you, ok?” I trembled as I looked up at him.

Ben continued to stroke my hair. “They wouldn’t reject you, you know.” I flinched. How does he always seem to fucking know? “But I understand that it’s easier with only me.”

I couldn’t shake the sense of doom as we made our way down the corridor to my nest. I didn’t even know what to say to him. My hand gripped the handle for a long moment before I finally pushed the door open.

Devastation ravaged his face as he took in my bare mattress on the cold floor. Then it was gone, replaced by a quiet calm. “Thank you for showing me.” Ben kissed me. The way he held my face a little too tightly betrayed him. “I know what that took. I’m going to fix it, ok?”

“Ok,” I agreed in a small voice.

If only it were that simple to fix me.

Ben led me back to the others. I felt flayed, raw and exposed.

“Remy. We’re going to Haven + Nest and getting our girl everything we think she deserves. You with me?”

Remy leapt up. “Fuck yeah.”

Ben guided me towards Aleks. His hand stretched towards mine and I took it, letting him settle me into his lap, my legs bracketing his waist. “Take care of her,” Ben ordered.

“Always,” Aleks promised.

The alphas left, leaving me alone with him. We’d been alone in the apartment together for a while now but it had never felt like this. Then again, it wasn’t like I had spent the time draped over him like this. Having his hands wrapped around my waist, thumbs sliding up and down the contours of my stomach. We breathed each other in as our bodies made minuscule slow adjustments — my thighs squeezing tighter around him, his arms pulling inward — until there was no space between us.

“I want what they have with you,” Aleks said resolutely.

I spoke without thinking, hiding myself instinctively. “What, you want to be my fuck buddy?”

He refused to let me look away. I was falling into a great blue unknown. “No. I want to worry that you’re not sleeping. Hold your hand if you feel unsafe when you’re out. Let me care for you the way you’ve been doing for me.” The certainty in him flickered slightly. “But…do I have a place here? Even though I’m not an alph—”

My mouth was on his, smothering his harsh words away. They didn’t belong there, on those plush, full lips. Almost always flat and hardened, holding away the weight of all he carried. Soft in rare moments only for me and I wanted more of it, everything he was willing to give me.

“Does it feel like I care about that?” My kisses grew hungrier, craving more of the low noises escaping his throat. The way he gripped me like it was impossible to let go. My scent didn’t care what his designation was, perfuming vibrant and heady consuming us both.

“Hazel.”

I wriggled until my pussy sat perfectly on top of the thick bulge in his jeans.

“Y-you have to—”

I found the spot along his neck that made his fingers dig into my thighs.

“Fuck I can’t believe I’m saying this, we can’t do this right now while you’re hurt!”

He was panting from the effort of saying something so incongruous from what he obviously wanted.

“I just had a little fall, Aleks,” I said, even though I knew he was right.

His head fell back on the couch and his lips moved soundlessly like he was uttering a prayer.

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