Page 80 of The Heat of Us

“Hazel, you’re kind of not ok. Are you?”

I gave him a sad smile. “Is anyone?”

The soft dirt kept giving way beneath my steps. Bogging me down like quicksand, my tears making me sink faster.

I had to get to him.

He was so fucking still.

Adrian was never still. He was a bold exclamation mark on my life. Too much for some but would never be enough for me.

He was not allowed to be still.

It didn’t matter how many mounds of dirt I crawled over. How filthy my clothes got, how blackened my knees became.

He never got any closer.

I tripped and fell over the last hill, rolling uncontrollably. Limbs knocking, scraping, burning. A burst of white pain as I landed, crumpled in a heap.

Adrian remained the same distance from me as he always did.

I was losing him.

No matter what I did, our story always ended this way.

I surfaced with a gasp, hands automatically brushing off the invisible dirt on my arms and legs.

I hated that one. I mean, I hated all of them, but with that one I would feel phantom dirt beneath my nails for hours after. I would pick, pick, pick compulsively until my skin bled.

Ben would definitely notice.

Speaking of…

I got up and pulled on a hoodie. Crept past a sleeping Aleks on my couch and quietly closed the door behind me. I crossed the road and pressed the doorbell to Ben’s apartment.

It took a while but Ben’s reply eventually crackled through, his voice thick with sleep. “You were meant to call me.”

“Only one of us needs to brave the outside at this time of night, Ben,” I shot back. “Let me up?”

Ben answered the door with one pant leg rolled up and his black hair sticking up at weird angles. Even his tired face was beautiful. He was also shirtless, waking up things inside me that did not need to be woken up right now. “I’m getting you a key,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes as he padded back towards his bedroom.

I took off my hoodie and slid into bed beside him. He automatically encircled my body, his bare chest against my back. My hair must have been in his face but he seemed too sleepy to notice.

“You smell like a campfire.”

Freaking Remy and his scent marking.

But Ben didn’t seem to care, his arms tightening around me. My body relaxed as I inhaled his calming peppermint. The quietest, gentlest purr began to hum in the dark room.

And god help me, I fell back asleep almost instantly.

28

BEN

The fronds of the coconut trees overhead filtered the amber sunlight, casting speckled shadows on the sand. The sea breeze carried the scent of elderflower and I let out a contented sigh, rolling onto my back.

Maybe I’d get a fresh coconut from the market later.

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