I narrowed my eyes. “And I want you to cuddle with a giant teddy bear in the days leading up to it, so it smells like you and I can snuggle with it.”
“Sure, but you can just snuggle with me and get a very similar result.” Remy shrugged.
“You are hard muscle and not at all soft like a teddy.”
“One teddy coming right up then.”
I stared at him, assessing his open face for any trace of reluctance.
“I don’t really want the bear.”
“I know. I would have done it if you did though.”
I drew looping circles on his chest absentmindedly as I turned the decision I had just made over and over in my mind. I needed an alpha. He offered. It made sense.
There was just one final thing.
“Remy?”
“Mm?”
I knew heat services specifically put measures in place to prevent what I was about to say but I still had to be absolutely certain.
“You absolutely, unequivocally cannot bond me.”
His expression grew grim.
“That, we can both agree on.”
15
HAZEL
Jill was thrilled when I informed her I would be booking one of the heat suites and bringing my own alpha.
“Oh hun, that’s fantastic. You still have time before it’s here though. Why don’t you get your nest set up at home? I have heat support delivery services I can recommend as well for food drops.” Her careful wet floor signage earrings swayed enthusiastically.
“No, I…I’d like to book a suite, please.”
Jill thankfully didn’t press and blocked out a week for me in her calendar.
In the meantime, Remy sent me listings for teddy bears that got more and more giant. Undeterred by my insistence that I hadn’t been serious. I was actually scared he was going to purchase one and I would be stuck with it in my home. Grinning at me with a stitched smile, reminding me of the alpha who just wouldn’t quit.
My period started the next day and I was once again reminded that no matter what birth control I took, omega biology would not stop my uterus happily preparing itself for a tenant. Then tearing it all down in a cramping, blood-soaked rage when it did not have one. Omegas didn’t get them as often as betas but at least their methods of birth control usually resulted in no periods — or at the very least, lighter ones.
I spent the first day ignoring texts, work DMs and rotting on the couch with a new series on cults in the background. It was disturbing and perfect as I ate my way through all the peppermint dark chocolate in the apartment. My sleep patterns got even more erratic — 4 hour naps at 3pm and wide awake at 5am satisfying my spicy ramen craving. I finally opened my messages at 8am and—
Ben
ARE YOU ALIVE
It was a fair question. I hadn’t replied to him in more than 24 hours. I sent him the gif from The Shining with the fountain of blood cascading through the door.
Ben
I want to say you’re on your period but it’s also equally likely that you’ve gone on a murder spree
He was not allowed to know me that well.