Page 45 of The Heat of Us

After the three of us cleared up, I took the chance to reach into my bag and pull out an exquisite red box with intricate gold detailing.

“I found this at a market in the city yesterday,” I said to my mother. “They had a few different flavours but once I saw they had durian I knew I had to get it for you.”

I lifted the lid, revealing six beautifully patterned mooncakes sitting in individual compartments like golden medallions.

Gray palmed her face with a muttered good lord under her breath.

My mother’s face went white.

“You can’t bring that in here.”

I stared at her incredulously. “What? What do you mean?”

She started trying to shove the lid back on, her movements growing more agitated. “Your father can’t smell it. Have you forgotten what durian is like? He can’t know you’ve brought it for me. Remy. What have you done?”

“Ma, it’s in a mooncake, it’s nowhere near as strong as the actual fru–”

“Get it out of here!” she demanded shrilly.

“Jesus, ok!” I snatched the box from her trembling hands.

Gray took it from me with a very pointed look and walked out the room. I heard the front door open and slam shut.

I looked at my mother, really looked at her. Her naturally wavy hair pressed straight. Age spots freckled along her terracotta skin. The gradually deepening crows feet at the corner of her eyes.

The woman in front of me bore no resemblance to the one in the old photos my aunties had brought the last time they visited. Her younger self smiled, surrounded by friends and family, carefree in her colourful tudung. How long had Dad waited before pressuring Mum to set aside her headscarf?

Sometimes I wondered who my mother truly was after she had spent an entire lifetime moulding her habits, interests and preferences around another person. A person who did not care or appreciate her, content to let her chase his affection for decades.

Gray would kill me for what I was about to ask next.

“Have you been following the news about bond dissolution?”

The first pebble testing the way the water rippled.

My heart sank at the disgusted look that crossed my mother’s face. “Young people,” she said with a shake of her head. “You don’t understand. Bonds are for life. There’s no respect anymore.”

“You don’t think people can change? Can want different things?” I pushed on.

“Remy. Enough.”

Was it though?

It never seemed like anything I said or did would be enough to make her see.

Bonds are for life? Yeah, that was the worst fucking thing about them.

I couldn’t say that though. I could only imagine the heartache it would cause my mum to hear I don’t want to end up like you and Dad.

My sister returned empty handed and I stood up to leave.

“Bye Ma.” I kissed her cheek. “I’ll see you next time.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Gray offered.

We trudged down the driveway. I stopped and stared at my parked car, feeling like I’d just gone ten rounds in the ring.

“Where did you—”

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