Page 166 of The Heat of Us

Ben stroked a comforting hand down my arm. “Only if you want. If you’re unsure, you can always speak to Kerry about it.”

Now that I was finally embracing therapy, I was better armed with tools to deal with things that came my way.

Better late than never, I supposed.

I did end up telling Kerry about Adrian. All of it. The longer we worked through it the more I yearned to return to August Bay.

It happened about a month ago. They came with me and watched me plant a lemon-scented gum. I finally had my own funeral for Adrian. It rained as I was tamping down the dirt. A light, summer sprinkle.

I think he was saying goodbye too.

Ben left a bundle of elderflowers and promised to look after me.

I didn’t know if I would ever set foot in August Bay again. For now, the answer was no.

But there were no absolutes to grief and loss.

If I felt the need to return one day, I knew they would be there with me.

“I will. Next session,” I promised before rising up on my tiptoes to kiss his nose. I tilted my head listening. “We better get out there. Aleks is about to find out that Remy watched the new episode of Shifter Moon without him.”

Ben huffed. “Odds on him being able to pretend he hasn’t seen it the entire way through?”

“Not a chance in hell.”

That night, I lay in my nest with all of them huddled close around me.

“Guys, do you feel like there’s something missing in our lives?” I asked.

Ben swept the hair off my forehead with concern. “Has something been bothering you, Hazel?”

I picked at the thread on one of my pillows. “I don’t know. Sort of. You know I love being a plant mum.”

Saying the word mum completely shifted the energy in the nest. They all stared at me, and I could feel waves of apprehension in our bonds.

We’d never discussed kids. But I think I knew based on all our history and the emotions I was sensing.

It wasn’t for us.

“But you know, the plants are really my babies. I chose them. Named them. Raised them,” I prattled on, letting them suffer a little more. “Don’t you think it would be nice to have something to care for that belonged to all of us?”

I think Aleks was the first one to kind of catch on. “Hazel…” he said warningly.

I’d teased them long enough. They were really starting to panic.

“What do you think?” I smiled at them innocently. “Should we get a dog or a cat?”

Remy collapsed back on the mattress. “You’re a psychopath for doing that to us,” he said, clutching his chest and wheezing.

Aleks tugged at his curls. “We can…go visit an animal rescue soon,” he suggested thinly, still sounding stressed from what I’d implied.

Ben positioned his body over mine, caging me in. “Cats are better suited for apartment living,” he reasoned. His tone was light but the way his thigh pushed my legs apart and pressed against me was not. His nose touched mine. “They’re also notoriously evil. Just like you.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You do.” Ben pinched my hip lightly and I squeaked. “How about we go tomorrow?”

Instead of dwelling on the sentencing, I could be meeting cute animals instead. Huge improvement.

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