Page 121 of The Heat of Us

“You could be doing literally anything,” Ben mumbled, oblivious. “And I start to wonder what would happen if I just…”

I leaned in close. “Just what, Ben?”

He wouldn’t meet my eyes, like he was worried he was about to get in trouble. “Put it in,” he whispered.

“Oh my god!” I clapped my hand over his mouth.

“I know,” he moaned against my palm. “I’m a lecher.”

I rubbed his cheek affectionately. “But a cute one.”

Ben leaned into my touch as his eyes drifted shut. “And I need you to be happy. That’s the hardest one. Can I be honest with you?”

“Always,” I responded instantly.

“Sometimes I struggle with what you do.”

My chest felt bottomless, the air squeezed out of it.

“But it’s not what you think, Hazel,” he said quickly. “I want you to know that I see how hard you work with Remy. How much thought you put into making your content the best it can be and creating this…idea of Sierra. I know she’s not you. I…do see that.”

The muscle on the side of his jaw tensed.

“It’s everyone else I hate, Hazel. How they think they somehow have rights to Hazel because you give them Sierra.”

How could I fault him for feeling the exact same way I did?

“I know. I find it hard too,” I confessed quietly.

I wondered if there was a way to have the creatively-driven content side without any of the other bullshit.

“When it comes to our doorstep like this...” His mouth hardened into a firm line. “It makes me feel the way I did when I failed Juno all over again.”

“Hey.” I kissed his cheeks. “This is completely different. No one is hiding the truth from you here. And Juno is fine. More than fine. Look.”

We both turned our gazes back into the bar where Juno was nose-deep in the menu and Everett looked like he was struggling to keep track of everything she was asking him to order. Ari eventually started making a list on his phone. It looked long.

Ben sighed. “I just don’t know if I’m doing enough.”

God, I just wanted to wrap him up in my arms and never let go. “You are.” I kissed him, pressing our bodies together as tightly as possible. “You’re enough.”

You’re mine.

I bit it back, not quite ready to say it yet. I kissed him harder instead, letting my tongue trace his lower lip before sliding into his mouth. I could feel his hard muscle beneath my fingertips as I traced the way his broad shoulders filled out his shirt. He had a way of making me feel small, protected and wrapped up in him.

“Hazel.” My name was molten on his lips.

And I felt irresponsible tonight.

“You could if you wanted,” I murmured.

“Could what?”

“Put it in.”

His pupils expanded rapidly, his nostrils flaring. “Don’t,” he said warningly. “We’re in public.”

I tilted my head towards the single stall bathrooms. “Not in there we wouldn’t be.”

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