Page 119 of The Heat of Us

I didn’t even know what I was looking for. Did it matter where they lived? Their professional work history? That one time they reviewed a kebab shop that took forever to make a HSP?

I just had to feel like I was doing something.

Something in my brain snapped when I was scrolling through the inane social media posts of some dude posing in front of a truck in every picture. I flung my mouse away and screamed.

“I have to shut down my account.” The words felt like black tar in my throat. “Which makes me even angrier because it feels like they’ve won.” My hands curled into fists, my nails digging painfully into my palms. “And what if they leak my name and address regardless? This is fucked!”

People were more than happy to subscribe and enjoy my content. But being respectful of my boundaries for privacy? Apparently too much to ask for.

Remy spun my chair around, crouching down so we were eye level. His hands ran up and down my thighs comfortingly. “Pause your account for now. I’ll pause mine too. All we need to say is that we’re dealing with a privacy violation.” He glanced at where the letter lay on the desk. “We don’t know what they want. Do they want you to stop?” His voice grew strained as his eyes darkened. “Do they want you?”

“I agree,” Aleks said quietly. His arms were folded, his posture rigid and tense. “Don’t make irreversible decisions based on very little information. But protect yourself however you can and see what happens next.”

I tried to rub away the dull ache behind my eyes. “Just…wait? What am I supposed to do until then? Just be in this shitty state of limbo forever?”

I hoped they understood my rage was directed at the situation and not them.

Ben linked our fingers together. “How about we do something to distract you and make it feel a little less shitty. Even if it’s only for a little while.”

I looked up at him desolately. “Like what?”

“Almost…almost.”

“So close!”

“Ben, why did you put so much in?!”

“I didn’t mean to, my hand just slipped!”

I grumbled, picking up the soju bottle. This was precision work. Requiring a flawless execution.

And I was quite drunk.

“Hazel, you’re fucked.”

“Yeah, sorry Hazel.”

Juno was the only one who believed in me. “You can do it!”

The soju-filled shot glass floated precariously in the larger beer glass. We’d been passing around the bottle and adding more each time. Getting closer to sinking the entire thing.

Loser had to down the entire glass, shot and all.

“Fuck it.” I poured an aggressive amount of soju into the shot until it spilled over and crashed to the bottom of the glass spectacularly. Before anyone could say anything I had thrown it back.

“Goddamn, babe,” Remy said, sounding both amazed and in disbelief.

Healthy coping mechanism? No.

An acceptable one-night-only distraction from my reality? Very much needed.

Ben had called up Juno, asking if she and any of her pack would like to join us for an impromptu night out. She’d roped in two of her packmates and gave me the biggest hug when we met up in the city.

“If there’s anything we can do, just ask. Ok?”

I wasn’t sure what I could even ask for at this point. Nevertheless I hugged her back. “Thank you. I will.”

“Great, now let’s get drunk.”

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