Page 54 of Forever Always

I looked down at my bloody and cut hands. Fuck, they looked bad. What did I do? I started to turn toward where I knew my dad was lying in a heap behind me, but Riley cupped my face. I flinched, and he immediately drop his hands.

“Sorry. Shit, sorry. Just— Don’t look please. Jay and I will take care of it. You don’t need to see that.”

I swallowed. “Did I— Is he dead?”

Jay shook his head. “No. He’s still breathin’.” He glanced at Riley. “I’ll get him out of here. You just take care of Beckett. I know y’all need to talk.”

Jay went to stand up, but I grabbed his arm before he could stand. It hurt to look up but I managed it.

“Jay, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

He glared down at me. “No, you shouldn’t have. But I get it.”

My shoulders relaxed as his expression softened. “Are we good?”

I got a sharp nod. “We’re good. I got this.”

I knew I shouldn’t, but I turned as Jay went to grab my dad. He looked . . . bad. His face was smashed in and his body was still. If it wasn’t for his rapid breathing, I’d think he was dead. Fuck, I almost killed my own father. I-I’d lost it. All I’d felt was rage. I’d wanted to kill him. What the fuck was wrong with me? I was a monster.

CHAPTER 21

RILEY

Becks stumbled away from me with the most heartbreakingly haunted look on his face. He scooted back on his ass, getting farther and farther, until he was almost touching the blood staining our fucking carpet.

I went to crawl forward, but he shook his head. It hurt. It hurt so fuckin’ much. Becks always wanted my touch. Still, I stopped moving.

“Beckett,” I whispered, my voice more whiney than I wanted. Why didn’t he want me close? Was it because I lied to him? Was he mad at me?

“Please. Please don’t touch me.”

I blinked rapidly to keep the tears from falling. I needed to be here for Becks in any way he’d let me, even if it was killing me inside.

“I-I won’t, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”

He started to shake his head again. It was freaking me out. The left side of his face was bruising fast and there was a glazed look to his eyes, like he wasn’t all the way present. It looked like Dad had gotten at least one good hit on the side of his head, and who knew what else I’d missed? It probably hurt like a motherfucker for him to keep shaking like that.

“I-I don’t wanna hurt you,” he finally whispered, as he looked down at his bloody hands.

It suddenly clicked. I was such a selfish asshole. Here I was, worried he was mad at me when he was just scared. I had no doubt he would be pissed eventually, but it wasn’t important now. I needed to show him he’d never hurt me, that I wasn’t scared of him no matter what.

“You won’t, Becks.”

He kept staring at his hands. Fuck. I needed to get him cleaned up, but I was afraid to leave. Jay had just left with Dad, and if I wasn’t in Becks’s line of sight, who the fuck knew what he would do? I couldn’t risk him trying to run.

“I-I don’t remember. I just blacked out. I-I could do that to you. I can’t hurt you, butterfly. I can’t risk it.”

My head buzzed with panic. All I wanted to do was jump across the space between us, wrap myself around him, and never let him go until he came to his senses. I gripped my other wrist and let my nails bite into the skin. It was the only way I could keep myself still.

“You won’t hurt me, Becks. I trust you.”

He looked up at me, his face so fuckin’ vulnerable. I scratched down my arm, letting the pain take over so I could focus on my Becks.

“H-how do you know? I-I could’ve killed him.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I crawled one step closer to him. He scooted back.

“Baby, please stop. Y-you’re in the blood.”

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