Page 39 of Forever Always

Riley swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bouncing up and down. I became fixated on the movement, which was . . . weird.

“I don’t know where it’s at. I’m worried about Jay, I’m excited about my new job but also scared I’m gonna screw it up somehow, and I’m fuckin’ terrified for you,” he admitted. He shifted so we weren’t touching anymore, and the space between us on the couch felt like miles. He was too far. I needed to him closer.

“Terrified for me?” I asked, confused. “Why? I’m fine.”

Riley scoffed. “Wow, do you believe that load of shit?”

I didn’t have an answer to that, so I shrugged.

He sighed heavily, like I was the most frustrating person in the fuckin’ world. “Just yesterday, you were so far under, I wasn’t sure if you’d ever wake up. And I get this ain’t normal circumstances, but do you know how that feels? To lie next to you every day just wishin’ and hopin’ that you’ll wake up this time, wonderin’ if this is it, if this is the time that I don’t get you back.”

Riley popped off the couch and started pacing. I gripped the edges of the torn fabric to keep me from getting up and grabbing him. “Butterfly, I ain’t going nowhere. I’ll always come back to you.”

Ri spun around and faced me, his eyes blazin’. “Don’t you ‘butterfly’ me. We’re not brushing this under the rug.”

I stood up, annoyed. “I’m not! I was the one who asked you to talk!”

“And you immediately told me you were fine, which we both know is bullshit! What’s the point of talkin’ if you’re gonna lie to me?”

Pissed, I grabbed Riley’s arms before he could turn from me again. “I don’t fuckin’ lie to you. We don’t lie to each other ever,” I hissed, careful not to get too loud, even if there was no chance of Jay waking up.

He wrenched himself out of my grip. “Oh yeah?” Ri came back at me with the same aggressive whisper. “Look me in the fuckin’ eyes and tell me you’re fine.”

I couldn’t do that and we both knew it. I slumped back onto the couch. “Shit. I’m sorry, Ri.”

I hung my head, the shame overwhelming. I didn’t look up as Ri came to kneel in between my legs. He cupped my face and twisted in a way that forced me to look at him.

“It’s fine, Becks. I know you’re used to holding everything in, but like I told you the other day, I can help you know. Let me share the burden, please.”

Riley sounded so sincere, literally pleading with me not to withdraw from him. Everything came rushing forward: me tellin’ Jay the exact same thing only this morning like the hypocrite I was. I even remembered bits and pieces of the conversations I’d had with Riley.

“I’ll try, butterfly. I promise I’ll try.”

He rested his forehead against mine. “That’s all I can ask. And whenever you forget, I’ll just keep reminding you.”

I couldn’t help but smile at that. “I’m sure you will.”

He was so close and I was staring, but it was impossible not to. Not when he was looking at me like that.

Riley’s breath hitched, and then before I could so much as blink, he grabbed hold of my face and brought his lips to mine.

CHAPTER 15

BECKETT

It was nothing like any of the other little innocent kisses we’d had so far. His lips were chapped, but that just added to the Rileyness of it all. He tasted sweet and spicy, and it was just fuckin’ everything.

Then, the Riley I loved more than anything else kicked into gear. His hands flew up and his fingers buried in my hair, pulling me closer to him. My first instinct was to fight for dominance, but I didn’t want to fight Riley. My thoughts were crazy and I couldn’t land on anything, but there was one thing I did know. I’d do anything for my butterfly, and if he wanted to take control, I wasn’t gonna stop him.

As soon as I relented, Riley began attacking my mouth. He stood, without breaking the kiss, and pushed me back so I was leaning against the back of the couch, and he straddled my lap. His tongue was fuckin’ my mouth, and I willingly let him. I craved it. So much dominance in such a small fuckin’ package.

I wrapped my arms around his back and pulled him toward me. Riley began grinding against me, making it clear he was enjoying every last bit of this. I took a moment to see how I felt about it, and I was surprisingly okay with it. The fear and whatever bullshit I had the other day just wasn’t there right now. I could even feel myself thickening in my pants, which was nearly as surprising. I rarely got turned on anymore. It lit some serious feelings inside of me, and I pushed up against him, so he knew I felt the same.

Finally, Riley pulled back, his eyes wild and chest heaving.

“Becks . . . ,” he whispered, and there was so much meaning in that one little word. I fisted his shirt and pecked his lips.

“I’m right here, butterfly. I ain’t going nowhere.”

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