Page 9 of Forever Always

“I’m so what?” I finally asked when he didn’t answer.

“I don’t know. So intense. Can’t I just be sorry?”

I tilted his head back up. “No. You got nothin’ to be sorry for. Only one who should be sorry is that piece of shit, and neither of us should hold our breath waitin’ for it.”

Riley huffed and pushed me away, and just like that my chest hurt again. He stalked back to the stove and the boiling water. I never thought someone could angrily pour a box of spaghetti into water before, but I was clearly wrong.

A small smile played on my lips. He looked fuckin’ adorable like that.

He scowled at me. “Why are you smilin’?”

“You.”

Riley just rolled his eyes at me and opened the tiny freezer, and pulled out a bag of frozen meatballs. It only made me smile harder. Spaghetti and meatballs was my favorite.

“You wanna know why I’m sorry?” He snapped minutes later.

“I did ask.”

That earned me the finger, but he kept talkin’. “I’m sorry shit keeps fallin’ apart and you feel like it’s your responsibility to always fix it. I’m sorry that we’re gonna fight now because you’re gonna be a stubborn ass and tell me I can’t take a semester off.”

I growled. Not this again. “That’s cause you can’t. I said I’ll get you that money and I will.”

How, I had no fuckin’ clue. I had ways, but they were all last resorts. I’d do it though. For Riley.

Within seconds, Riley was in my face, and shoved me against the wall. Normally, he wouldn’t be able to budge me, but he took me by surprise, the little shit.

“Fuck you, Becks! Fuck you and your fuckin’ hero complex! You don’t get to take this all on yourself.”

I grabbed his arms before he could shove me again and held them to his sides. He bucked in my hold, but unless he fought dirty, he had no chance of breaking it. This was always the test to see where Riley was mentally. If he really wanted to get away, he’d knee me in the balls and make a run for it. The fact that he just glared daggers at me spoke volumes.

We stayed like that for fuckin’ ages. Riley fought for a while but eventually, the tears started again and he sagged in my arms. I immediately dropped my hold and hugged him instead.

“I’m sorry, Becks. I’m being an asshole.”

I hated when he apologized to me. He never had to do it. But I also knew he needed reassurance now. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”

Riley adjusted his position so he could look at me. “Please promise you won’t do anything crazy.”

I sighed. I couldn’t really promise that. “Becks, please. I can’t lose you. I know you want me to go to college and get my degree, and I want it too. But it’s not worth you getting thrown in prison or killed over.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. What the fuck did he think I was going to do? Sure, I wasn’t totally innocent. I’d done plenty of stuff I wasn’t proud of in the past. But it wasn’t easy being 10–11 years old and trying to provide for a kid. I had to do what I had to do.

“I won’t leave you, Ri. You know that. It’s you and me forever.”

“You say that, but you never let me help. How can it be me and you if I never do anything? We’re in this together, Becks. That’s what you always say. Right?”

Fuck. How dare this fuckin’ punk use my words against me. I was gonna lose, wasn’t I?

Suddenly, I was exhausted. I didn’t want to argue with Riley. And I knew he didn’t want to either. We were supposed to be a team.

I sighed and kissed the top of his hair. He smelled like vanilla. I stayed there, just breathin’ him in until I could think clearly.

“Alright, how ‘bout this? Give me 10 days? I won’t do anything crazy or illegal. Well, too illegal anyway.” I stayed away from shit that would give me real time. Just like I said, there was no way I’d risk leaving Riley like that. “If we can’t come up with the money by then, I’ll let you put a hold on your classes and you can see if they’ll let you work full-time at the gas station or get a job somewhere else.”

Fuck, with the smile Riley rewarded me with, you’d think I’d just given him a million dollars. It twisted my gut. What the hell was our lives when that was what made him happy?

“You promise you won’t get hurt or arrested?”

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