Riley stopped touching me and looked me in the eye. “We need to put a rule on apologizing. We don’t do it for stupid shit. You don’t apologize for that. It’s fuckin’ bullshit that you even thought you had to, Becks. We wait as long as you need to.”
I was suddenly feeling really vulnerable and I watched my dick start lagging. Fuck, I was ruining this already. “What if I’m never ready?”
He shrugged. “That’s fine too. I’m sure there’s plenty of other things we could do. And even if there isn’t, I don’t give a fuck. I just want you, Becks. Just you.”
Tears were threatening to fall, but I blinked them back. Riley was still sitting here with his dick out half hard, and maybe it wasn’t exactly what we imagined, but I still wanted something.
“Can I touch you?” I asked, smiling at the huge grin and overeager nod he gave me in response.
“Fuckin’, yes, please.”
I was just glad I didn’t ruin everything. I wished we had lube, but it was in the bedroom with Jay, so I just spit on my hand to add to what was already there and touched Riley for the first time.
I hadn’t done this in so long, and with all my past trauma right up on the surface, it would be easy enough to go back there, but then Ri’s hand wrapped around mine, and I was right back where I should be.
I was so tentative at first, it was ridiculous. I wasn’t some fuckin’ teenager with no experience. But this was Ri, and I wanted to make sure he felt good. I started moving.
“That’s it, Becks. Your hand feels so good, baby. You can hold me tighter and go faster. That’s it. Fuck, baby. This is everything.”
“Fuck. Butterfly.” My own cock started twitching, but I didn’t touch it. This was enough.
“Becks, I’m so close. Please, baby, make me come,” Riley whispered, and damn, who knew something could sound so filthy coming out of his mouth? I increased my tempo as Riley leaned forward, fisted my hair, and started kissing me again.
It was like sensation overload. He had a way of taking over my senses so all I could feel was my butterfly. All I could smell and see was him. Riley’s name just ran on repeat. It was like a fuckin’ mantra in my brain.
“I’m close, Beckett.”
“Come, Riley. Let me see how much you want this.”
“Fuck,” he hissed, closing his eyes.
Riley’s body jerked and his cum coated my hand.
“Butterfly,” I choked out, absolutely overwhelmed. I was hard as fuck now, but I completely ignored it. Just watching Riley come undone for me was enough. His breathing was heavy, his eyes glassy, and was an absolute mess. A beautiful fuckin’ mess.
Rough fingers caressed my cheek, and I could feel Riley’s breath on my face. His lips brushed against mine. “That was amazing.”
I could fuckin’ breathe again. I squeezed Ri as close to me as possible and kissed the top of his head, relishing how he melted into my side. “Do you want to come?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Not right now.” Riley nodded, completely accepting me and my weird fuckin’ hang-ups like it was nothing. But it wasn’t. It meant everything to me.
I should probably get something to clean him up with, but I didn’t think either of us could muster up a fuck right now and bother to get up.
“Does this mean I’m yours?” Riley asked quietly.
“You were always mine, butterfly. I think I’m just startin’ to understand exactly what that means.”
CHAPTER 16
RILEY
Becks and I fell asleep on the couch after we cleaned up some, and Jay never woke up. He was still snoring, loudly, when I woke up around 7 the next morning and got into the shower. I let the lukewarm water wash over me, pretending it was hotter and stronger than it was as I thought about last night. I still couldn’t believe that had really happened. It felt like a dream.
I was sure Beckett was going to freak out and start doubting this again. But all he did was hold me tight as we tried to sleep in a space that was barely big enough for one of us, let alone two. But we made it work.
The bathroom door opened, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. “Sorry, it’s me,” Becks murmured sleepily.
“Scared the shit outta me,” I grumbled, but still smiling like a fool as Becks started to handle his business.