Page 16 of Forever Always

Jay glared at me. “Fuck, you’re grumpy. Do you need a hug?”

“Don’t cha got better things to do then bother me at work?”

Jay’s face fell, and I felt like shit. Clearly, things didn’t go well with his mom, and I didn’t need to pile on. “Sorry, man. You know I don’t mind you bein’ here.”

He shrugged. “It’s fine.”

I was such an asshole. I was so caught up in my own head and issues, I’d completely ignored his.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

He shrugged again. “Not really. Do you wanna talk about whatever is goin’ on in your head?”

I almost shut him down, but when I tried to say the words, I blurted, “Some fucker was flirtin’ with Riley and gave him his number.”

Well shit.

Jay’s eyes widened with surprise before he burst out laughing. I glared at the asshole. “Sorry. Sorry. I just . . . I thought that all that”—he gestured vaguely, but I knew he meant the way I was acting—“was cause of the money. Not because you were jealous.”

What the fuck? I bared my teeth at him. He was lucky we were at the bar, otherwise I’d have punched him in his smug, little face. “What is wrong with you? I ain’t jealous.”

Jay took a sip of his beer and shrugged. His eyes were lit up with humor, and I was torn between bein’ pissed and happy he didn’t look so lost, even for a minute. “Sure.”

One of the regulars walked up then, so all I could do was shoot daggers at Jay and hope he could read my mind and all the fuckin’ death threats running through it as I poured the regular a new drink. He had a tab open with us, so he just mumbled a, “Thanks,” and went back to the booth with his other buddy.

I whirled on Jay. “This ain’t fuckin’ funny. I acted like a total asshole to Ri when he told me.”

Jay’s expression turned serious. “What happened?”

I spilled everything, I told him how I sat there, half asleep, tryin’ to do math to see what we could cut or sell to pay for school when Riley had walked in. Since we’d found out Dad had stolen the money, it was all I could think about. But funny enough, since I’d seen that text, I hadn’t thought about it at all.

You always had a hard-on for the kid.

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing his voice out of my fuckin’ mind. My fingers itched to get another shot but I resisted. That was the difference between my old man and me. I felt that urge, same as him. It would be so fucking easy to give into it. Especially when I was all in my head like this. One more shot and I’d be feelin’ good. I wouldn’t worry about Riley workin’ the graveyard shift all alone at the fuckin’ gas station and what could be happening to him there. I wouldn’t worry about how I was supposed to come up with more than 2 grand in 5 days. And I definitely wouldn’t be thinkin’ about Riley going on a fuckin’ date with some asshole from the gas station. I would be just feelin’ good. But then reality always fuckin’ hit, and I stopped myself just in time before reachin’ for that bottle. The image of Dad passed out in his own vomit when I went to confront him the other day was enough to push it aside and stay focused. I wasn’t becoming that motherfucker. I wouldn’t do that to Riley.

I couldn’t look at Jay, but I finished telling him the story, bein’ completely honest about the pure rage I’d felt when I saw those words. How dare that fuck try to make a claim on my Riley. I heaved out a breath. Keep it together, Beckett. He’s not fuckin’ yours. Not that way. And it’s fuckin’ sick you even thought it.

When I finished, I finally dared a look at Jay, but he didn’t seem disgusted or even surprised. Just thoughtful.

“You look like you’re gonna be sick.”

“Yeah, because I acted like a total asshole. I don’t got a claim on Riley.”

“I mean, yeah, I won’t deny you were kinda a dick, but do you really think you don’t got a claim on him?”

I squinted at my best friend like he’d lost his damn mind. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Riley looks at you like you hung the damn moon, man.”

“That’s cause I’m his brother and I took care of him as a kid.”

Jay tilted his head. “That might be part of it, but Beck, you know you two aren’t actually brothers, right?”

I growled, ready to kill the fucker. He held his hands up in front of him. “I didn’t mean it like that, asshole, calm the fuck down. First off, you two are way more than just brothers. I’ve never met two people closer and more attached to each other in my life. You’re like two parts of the same person. I only meant that genetically, you ain’t brothers.”

I blinked, tryin’ to understand what he was getting at. I knew Riley wasn’t my blood brother, but what the fuck did that mean? What was he even saying?

Jay sighed heavily. “Listen, I know you’re all up in your head, and I know your old man said all kinds of sick shit about you that’s probably fuckin’ with you. But Ri is a grown man who can make his own decisions.”

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