Page 13 of Forever Always

He smiled at me as I replaced the empty canister with a new one. “Thank you.”

I nodded awkwardly. “Sure, no problem.”

I started to head back to the register, but he stopped me. “Hey, if I made you uncomfortable back there, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

I shrugged. “You’re fine.” I walked away before he could say anything else.

My escape was short-lived since he had to pay for his coffee, obviously. He had also grabbed a bag of chips and a couple of those packaged cake snacks that I had always thought were gross but Beckett had been obsessed with as a kid. Though, thinking back, I wondered if he was really obsessed or if they were just cheap or easy to steal.

I rang the guy up, and did my best to avoid looking at him. He was staring at me, and I tried so fuckin’ hard not to squirm. I didn’t think he was doing it on purpose, not anymore at least, but I wasn’t used to that kinda attention from anyone but Beckett.

“So, I’m just going to come out and say it. I think you’re really cute.”

My head snapped up from the register. “Um, what?”

Immediately, the guy looked mortified. “Oh fuck, am I barking up the wrong tree? I shouldn’t have just assumed but . . .” He waved his hand at me like that was supposed to clear everything up. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

“Assumed what?” I asked, more curious than anything. Did this guy really just call me cute? Should I be offended? Honestly, I was just confused. Was he flirting with me? Making fun of me? I couldn’t tell.

“Assumed you liked guys.” His cheeks were bright red. I had to admit I was impressed by this guy’s balls. We weren’t in the best neighborhood. He had no idea who I was or who my connections were. He had no idea how his comments would be taken.

I shrugged. Honestly, I had no fuckin’ idea who or what I liked. Beckett was the only person I’d ever thought of like that. He consumed my thoughts, and not always in a brotherly way. But, I knew he only thought of me as his little brother, a kid he had to take care of. I tried so fuckin’ hard to bury my feelings, but even now, as this guy was flirting with me, if you could call it that, I found myself comparing him to Beckett. I had issues.

“I’m not really sure what I like,” I finally admitted.

The guy rocked back on his heels, and I could tell he felt awkward. I felt kinda bad, but it was the truth.

“Alright, that’s cool.” He took a deep breath, like he was stealing himself to say something really epic. “Listen, I’m gonna be in town for a couple weeks visiting my mom and I’m bored out of my fucking mind.” He laughed. “Can I have your number and I’ll give you mine. If you decide that you do like dicks, you can give me a call. Or even if you just want to hang out.”

I frowned. “Why? You don’t know me. Why would I give me your number?”

He lifted his shoulder. “I don’t know. Call it an instinct. I have a feeling you’d be a good fucking time.”

I snorted at that. Me? Yeah fuckin’ right. I was literally the most boring person alive. And if he meant in a sexual way, well, he was out of his damn mind. I’d tried a couple times to hook up with someone, but I couldn’t even get hard. There was apparently only one person who affected me like that, and it wasn’t this guy.

But when he handed me his phone, my crazy ass found myself putting my number in there. Beckett would fuckin’ kill me. I just gave a complete stranger my contact information. That was asking for trouble. We were always so careful. But maybe that was part of the reason I did it.

The guy grinned. “My name is Cole.”

“Riley.”

He took the phone back from me, pressed a couple of buttons, and I felt mine vibrating in my pocket.

“I just texted you, that way you have my number too. It’s nice to meet you, Riley. I hope I hear from you soon.”

Cole grabbed his stuff and left the store. I watched the door until I saw him climb into his car and leave the parkin’ lot. Curiosity got the better of me, and I pulled out my phone to see what he’d texted me.

Hey, blue eyes. Text me sometime if you want to have fun.

I was playin’ with fire.

It wasn’t unusual for me to come home from an overnight shift and Beckett already be up,getting ready for his at the factory. So it wasn’t a surprise when I stumbled through the door at 5 am to see Becks at our crappy, thrifted table, drinking coffee with his eyes half closed.

I grinned, the anxiety that seemed to keep ahold of me whenever we were apart disappeared. I had this irrational fear that one day I’d come home and Becks wouldn’t be half asleep at the table or sprawled on the couch playing video games, but instead I’d find him on the floor in a puddle of his own blood. I had no idea when I started having those nightmares, but they’d haunted me for fuckin’ years, to the point where I no longer got them only when I was sleeping and it was every time we were apart. I knew it was messed up and unhealthy and there was something wrong with me, so I never told Becks. Whenever he would push, I would make excuses or avoid the full truth until he finally stopped asking and would just hold me until I was calm again.

Beckett looked up when he saw me, and his eyes lit up.

“Hey, how was your shift?”