Page 17 of His Protective Bear

He studied me with his clear blue eyes as I took in his free-flowing dark brown hair cascading over his shoulders. I could see the defensive position he took up to protect himself, but he didn’t realize I was his life-long protector. I didn’t take a step toward him even though I really wanted to. Instead, I mirrored his stance, leaning against the railing and folding my arms. “I just want to talk,” I said softly. “Please, could you just sit with me so we can chat? Please? Give me a chance to explain.”

Sage considered my words for so long, I was almost certain he would say no. Then he surprised me and finally inclined his head. “Fine,” he muttered, “but I don’t think we have anything to talk about.”

My body damn near sagged with relief at his answer. I moved towards the sitting area on the porch, but Sage stopped me, “Can we sit in your car, please?”

I looked over at him with what had to be shock on my face.

“It’s just,” he shrugged, “more privacy, you know?”

I glanced at the house and nodded at him because if it was my family, they would also listen in. “Of course.”

I hurried down the steps and opened the passenger door for him, then wondered if I should have waited for him to go down the steps before me. Thankfully, before I could overthink, he came down and sat down in the car. I shut his door and hurried over to my side as quick as my legs would carry me without actually running. Maybe I was pessimistic, but I really didn’t want to give him a chance to change his mind.

When I got in the car, I wasn’t sure where to begin. There was so much I wanted to say, but right now in the moment I didn’t know where to start. There was so much I wanted to know, but I also didn’t want to overwhelm him.

Sage sat there silently facing forward, his hands clasped together in his lap.

“I—” I cleared my throat and tried again. “I guess the easiest place to start is to ask why don’t you think I could be your mate?”

Sage snorted, and I was almost certain he wouldn’t reply. He glanced out the window and his hands wrapped around his body like he was protecting himself. Then he finally spoke, “Well, for one, we’ve known each other… well, maybe not known, but we went to school together. So why not then? Why didn’t you say anything back then?” he scoffed, “Why now? After all these years, you can’t tell me you just figured it out.”

My heart clenched because I’d fucked up. I sighed and leaned back in my seat. “Gods.”

Sage glanced in my way, and I leaned forward again.

“I was trying….” I shook my head, “We were young when I first caught your scent. You were just a sophomore, and I was about to graduate. I thought we needed time to grow up… and I tried to hang around you, but you were shy and seemed to run away every time I got near you, so I thought maybe you weren’t ready.” I closed my eyes and rubbed my chin, “I didn’t want to scare you. I figured your graduation would be a perfect time, but then you didn’t even attend. I thought maybe you’d gone away on holiday or something, but then you never came back.”

My mate moved slightly, facing me now, not the window.

“You were just gone,” I murmured. “I regretted not saying something sooner. It devastated me when you left. I never thought I would see you again. I looked for you.” I wasn’t sure if I should admit this to him, but he was one of the reasons I’d joined the Sheriff's Department to track him down. I decided not to think about the rest of it.

He didn’t speak for a while, but I didn’t push. “I’ve been back a while now,” he said slowly, “you still said nothing. Why now?”

I laughed, but there was no humor to it. If he only knew how many times I’d almost blurted it out. “Please don’t take this the wrong way.” I saw his walls slam into place at my words, so I hurried on. “Maybe I should have tried harder, but you really don’t make it easy to approach you. It makes sense now, but you don’t make it easy to approach you. You have your guard up, and very few people are allowed in.” Heck, from what I’d seen, it was just his family. His parents, brother, and cousins.

Sage sighed and looked out the window again, “I don’t know what to say,” he whispered, “I don’t even know how to believe—” he covered his face with his hands. I could sense his distress, and I wanted to comfort him, but I knew he wasn’t ready for that.

“You don’t have to believe me, but please give me a chance to prove it to you.” I didn’t care if I was begging. He had his trust broken, and it was my job to show him I would never do that.

He didn’t speak, but he nodded slightly. At least I was certain he did.

I expected him to bolt after that, but he didn’t. We talked about high school and laughed about teachers we’d both had. And even talked about how much Asheville had grown in the last several years. Sage seemed to relax a little and even cracked a couple of jokes that had me laughing. We slowly got to know each other, sitting there in my car, and everything was going well until I asked, “What were you up to while you were away.”

I saw the moment he clammed up again. His body tensed, and he looked away from me. “I don’t want to talk about that,” he cleared his throat, “it’s getting late. I should be going in now.”

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Way to ruin everything, Hunter.

I was thinking about what to say when Sage spoke again, and this time, he caught me by surprise.

“I wanted to apologize,” he said.

I furrowed my brow as I tried to think about what he had to apologize for.

“You don’t have to be sorry. I pushed too much—”

Sage shook his head, “No, I want to apologize for how I reacted. At the diner. What you said about us.”

It felt like he was deliberately choosing not to use the word mate. Like he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud. Like it would hurt him somehow.