Page 40 of Trick

Her tongue darts out to wet her bottom lip and I’m suddenly swamped with cold that has nothing to do with the water dripping down my back and chest.

“I can see how hurt you are by whatever it is. I want to help.”

She opens her mouth, as if she’s going to tell me, but then she tosses the showerhead back into the basin and makes a beeline for the door.

I don’t let her run, not this time. I’m tall enough to reach over her and press a hand against the door, pushing it closed before she can open it.

Sandwiched between my chest and the wood, she shrinks into herself in a way I don’t like. Heidi seems so fragile beneath her anger.

“Get out of the fucking way, Trick,” she rasps, her throat raw, and it only heightens my fear. What the fuck happened to her?

“I just want you to talk to me.”

She turns around, peering up at me. Trapped between my arms, she looks more vulnerable than I’ve seen her—even after Theo died.

“Let me out.”

I should. It’s cruel to make her face something she clearly does not want to, but I’m afraid if I let her walk out that door, I’m going to lose my hold on her.

“Please, Heidi, talk to me.”

Her chin wobbles, her eyes brimming with tears. “Losing Theo was hard, but it was nothing compared to…”

“Compared to what?”

She buries her head in her hands and sobs. “Losing my child.”

I’m not sure I’ve heard her right. “Your child?”

“I was pregnant, Trick.” Her hand splays over her stomach as tears flow freely down her cheeks.

Was…

Cold fills my gut.

“When Theo died, I was devastated, but I was so grateful to have a part of him still growing inside me.”

I shove my damp hair back from my face, needing to see her clearly while she opens up. I’ve already gathered this story doesn’t have a happy ending, since there’s no baby, but I need to know what fucking happened—and why she never told anyone.

“I just… I wanted to… I can’t…” Her breath hitches, her chest heaving as she tries to find the words.

I cup her face between my hands, pressing my forehead to hers. Fuck, how did we not know she was going through this shit?

“I’m not gonna say I’m sorry, babe, because those words aren’t enough.”

Her hands come up to cover mine, holding my wrists in place as she sinks into my touch, as if drawing strength from me to continue.

“It was two weeks after his death. It was after the funeral. Terror drove me home, and I started to bleed.”

She’d gone home alone that night, wanting space, and we’d fucking given it to her. That space resulted in her miscarrying alone.

“Fuck,” I mutter, acid coating my tongue.

“I was eleven weeks when he died. Theo didn’t want me to tell anyone before twelve weeks. He thought it was bad luck. Turns out I was cursed anyway. There was so much blood.” She squeezes her eyes shut, her fingers tightening around my wrists. “It wouldn’t stop coming out of me, and I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do, so I called Mara.”

My eyes flare before I can stop them. I had no idea my wife went to Heidi that night. I try to think back. The wake was held in the clubhouse. Mara had gone home early, but I stayed. I drank so much, I passed out on one of the sofas in the common room. When I went home the next morning, Mara wasn’t there, but I assumed she’d gone to work.

She never said a fucking word when I saw her later that night. She took Heidi’s secret to the next life with her.

---