But she mentioned my abandonment issues with my dad like they were the most obvious thing in the world and the moment she said it, everything seemed so clear.
My residual resentment, my quickness to push people away, my repressed emotions…I still blame my dad even though I dismissed him years ago as having no relevance in my life whatsoever.
Daisy helped me gain clarity, and how did I repay her? By pushing her away like I do with everyone else. My gut churns and I grimace.
Kevin chuckles. ‘I knew I was right. You two are an item.’
‘We’re not…’ The automatic refusal dies on my lips.
We’re something, but I don’t know how to label what we are. Were. Considering I’ve fucked up deliberately.
‘She’s a nice girl. Good head on her shoulders.’ He snickers. ‘And anyone can see you two combust whenever you’re near each other.’
‘Is it that obvious?’
‘Yeah, though only if you’re looking for it.’ He taps his chest. ‘I’m an old gossip from way back. Your grandfather always said so and now that he’s gone I’ve switched my busybody ways onto you.’
He pauses and stares at me with open speculation. ‘So what are you going to do?’
I know what the right thing to do is. Go find Daisy and apologise, yet again, for my appalling behaviour.
But what will that solve? She’s about to leave like everyone else has in my life; starting with dear old dad who’s done a stellar job of fucking me up for life. Even Pa, who I let into my heart, left me. Through no fault of his own, and it’s irrational to feel this way, but it hurts so much harder when I actually care about the person who leaves.
And I care about Daisy.
I need to leave before she does.
It’s my only option.
‘I’m flying to Melbourne as planned to set up the programme properly with the governing bodies, then I’ll investigate further options for the PR.’
Sadly, it won’t be with Daisy, because I know after I’ve fucked up this badly she’ll never want to work with me again.
Kevin’s eyebrows rise again. ‘You won’t consult with Daisy before you leave?’
No way in hell.
I can’t see her again because I’m at risk of wavering and seeing her in person will make my resolve crumble.
This has to end, on my terms.
‘I’ll consider all options when it comes to the PR for this programme.’
Kevin makes an odd disapproving sound that I ignore.
‘I’m taking off within the hour so I’ll leave all this in your capable hands.’ I stand and offer him my hand, needing to get the hell out of here before he asks any more probing questions. ‘I’ll be in touch, and feel free to contact me if there’s any problems.’
‘Shall do.’ He shakes my hand, a powerful squeeze that tells me more than any words do. I admire a man with a strong handshake. It hints at hidden power. ‘And good luck with your foster project.’
‘Thanks.’
I’m looking forward to getting my idea off the ground but I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve made a major mistake with Daisy.
And I have no clue how to fix it.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Daisy