I glanced over at her and found she was gazing at the new work with a huge smile on her face. God, there was so much joy in seeing her smile like that – I was sure I would never get over it. She deserved to be happy, truly happy, after everything she had been through. I would do anything to make that happen.
I cleaned up after she ate some dinner, and, as I was putting her to bed, she reached out to squeeze my arm.
"When is Lee coming?" she asked me. I bit my lip.
"Soon," I promised her. I didn’t know if that was the truth, but I couldn’t bear to let her down.
I tucked her in bed and went to make myself something to eat, though, tonight, it was me who didn’t have anything close to an appetite. I just didn’t know how long I could wait for him. Should I see if there was anything I could do? Call him or something? No, I could just picture it – me blowing their cover because I called at the wrong time, and he forgot to put his phone on silent. It was better for me to wait.
Even if I felt like I was going to lose my mind in the process.
Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, I heard a knock at the door, and I sprang to my feet and ran towards it – throwing it open, I breathed a long sigh of relief when I saw Lee standing there. Other than the bandages on his hand from the other night, he looked unharmed, much to my relief.
"How did it go?" I asked him, as I pulled him into the apartment. "Is it over? Is Lombardi done?"
He shook his head.
"Not yet" he replied, as he made his way inside. "We hit the compound, but he got away. We’ve got a guy locked up that we’re going to get information out of in the morning. He needs some time to stew first.”
"Okay, so...are you okay?" I asked him. He nodded – and then, to my surprise, he shook his head.
"I don’t think so," he admitted. My eyes widened. Was he carrying an injury I couldn’t see? What was going on?
"What happened?" I gasped. "Did you get hurt-"
"No, not...not physically," he replied. "Can I get a beer?"
"You can have anything you want," I replied, darting into the kitchen to grab him a bottle. I popped the lid and handed it to him, and he took several long gulps, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. I stared up at him, trying to get a feel for what was going on. I scanned his face, searching for some hint as to what he had been talking about when he told me that not everything was as okay.
I lifted my hand to his cheek. There was something heavy hanging over him, something that he couldn’t quite put into words – but I needed to know what it was. I needed to help him, and the only way I was going to be able to do that was if...
"Can I tell you something?" he asked me.
"Of course, you can," I replied, as I guided him to the couch. My heart was thrumming madly in my chest. My mind reeled as I tried to guess what this could be. A man in a biker gang...he had to have some serious darkness in his past. Could I handle whatever he was about to tell me? Was I ready for it? I didn’t know.
But I was sure as hell willing to find out.
He took another sip of his beer, his eyes fixed straight ahead, and then began to speak.
"I... a long time ago," he started, haltingly. "I had a child. A little girl."
I slid my hand to his. I could hear how much this was hurting him, like saying this out loud was almost more than he could take. I couldn’t imagine what he was getting at – a little girl? He’d never had a little girl as long as I had known him...
"Her name was Dina," he continued. "I was young when I had her, her mother and I both were – the two of us, we were never going to be anything serious, but God, that little girl...she was perfect."
A small smile crossed his face when he said that – as though he was remembering, all too clearly, what it had been like to have her close to him. A lump rose in my throat. I could already tell that this was going to be emotional, but I was here for him. No matter what, I was here for him.
"What happened to her?" I breathed. He paused for a moment before he continued.
"Her mother and I split, and she spent an equal amount of time with both of us," he continued. "We were still figuring out all the custody agreement stuff when it...happened, but she knew I adored Dina. I would have done anything for her. Anything to keep her around, it didn’t matter what it took, I just...I just loved her so much."
His voice choked again, but he pushed it away.
"Before what happened?" I whispered though I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. His head dropped to his chest as he picked at the label on his beer.
"Before she died."
I closed my eyes. There it was. The last thing I wanted to hear. The worst thing I could imagine.