Page 29 of Spin Serve

“Kendra, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” She pulled down on the middle of the red blouse she was wearing. “Happy?”

Aspen’s eyes lowered, and Kendra saw the recognition on her face. The scar from her surgery had faded over the years, but it was and always would be still there, no matter how much the bumpy red skin turned less bumpy and faded to light-pink. She hated her scar, and she never showed it to anyone outside of her parents when she’d first gotten it or the medical staff at the hospital. Kendra didn’t wear any bathing suits without shirts over them, if in public, unless they were full-coverage and she could hide the scar that was several inches long and in the middle of her chest. She’d only pulled her shirt down slightly now, so Aspen couldn’t see the entirety of the scar, just the very top of it. Kendra wasn’t sure what had made her do this in the first place, when she’d not ever shown it to anyone else, but there she was, on the sidelines, with her shirt pulled down a little and Aspen’s eyes on her.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Aspen told her. “I’m the asshole here. I need to remember that just because I want to know something, it doesn’t mean someone has to share it. I’m sorry.”

Kendra let go of her shirt, and it returned to its shape.

“I need to get back to work.”

“Okay. Just…” Aspen looked around the stands. “I’m mortified right now, and I’m sorry.”

Aspen turned around then and walked away.

Kendra watched her go before she herself turned the other way and headed back to the tunnel to get some shade before her post-warm-up interviews with the two teams about to take the court. She never talked about her surgery with anyone, and that included her girlfriends. More than that, having sex without a shirt on was something that required an immense amount of trust, and she hadn’t had that with anyone since, either, including the woman she’d been with for two years. It had been one of their problems: Kendra didn’t want to be seen fully naked in any capacity. There had been no shared showers, no playing with her breasts during sex unless it had been over her shirt, and more than once in her several relationships, the woman she’d been with had suggested she go to therapy to discuss her issues.

Kendra hadn’t listened because she already knew what her problem was. She’d lost out on her dream because of her heart condition. Everything she’d wanted in life was supposed to be hers because she’d worked hard and had natural talent at the sport she loved, but instead, she’d lost it all after the diagnosis. Then, a few years later, it had gotten worse, so doctors had suggested a surgery they’d initially not wanted to do because they’d said it was too risky. By twenty-five, though, it became something they’d had to do, and she’d come out of the operation with a repaired heart and a physical sign of the dream she’d lost. When before, she’d been able to forget, she couldn’t anymore. Just by looking in the mirror, Kendra would always recall what it had felt like to receive the notice that her scholarships were being taken away and that she couldn’t even walk on to a school’s team because they didn’t want anything to happen to her.

She understood and wasn’t angry with the universities, but that scar was a constant reminder of what she’d almost had and lost. Aspen bringing it up in any context would’ve upset her, but doing it on the court made it so much worse. She also couldn’t believe that she’d shown Aspen her scar. It wasn’t likely that anyone else had been paying attention and seen it, but Kendra still couldn’t believe she’d actually lowered her shirt and let Aspen Ashley see the thing she hated most about herself.

After finishing the interviews that she hadn’t even wanted to do, Kendra went back to the tunnel and walked outside the stadium built for the event. She headed toward the media tent, but before she got there, DJ unexpectedly stopped her.

“Hey, is everything okay between you and Aspen?”

“What? Why?”

“She just said she did something to make you upset, and she feels like shit.”

Kendra shook her head and asked, “Where is she?”

“In the player tent. She’s about to leave, though. We’re going back to the hotel. I just needed to pee first, but I saw you, so I thought I’d ask.”

“We’re fine.”

“Aspen puts her foot in her mouth a lot. She doesn’t mean to, but she’s got an impulsive streak in her. It usually works in her favor, but sometimes, it bites her in the ass, too. She’s sorry. I can tell you that much.”

“I know she is. I’ll talk to her when we get home, okay?”

“Not before our next match?” DJ asked.

“Probably not, DJ.”

“Oh,” DJ let out.

“That’s why you’re here.” It dawned on Kendra then. “You need me to tell her that everything’s okay so that she plays well tomorrow.”

“Part of the reason,” DJ said, looking a little embarrassed.

“I can’t yet, DJ. I need a little time.”

“I thought you said you two were fine.”

“We are. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to talk to her unless it’s for my job, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Kendra walked into the media tent where she took a deep breath.

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