Page 1 of Heart Strings

Chapter 1

Gracie

It always seems to rain at funerals.

Standing at a gravesite, looking down into the hole as the casket is lowered… the lower it gets, the more of your heart goes with it.

The hollowness that follows is something nobody prepares you for. Each embrace feels like it’s laced with thorns, and the murmured sympathies are met with mechanical ‘thank yous.’

The worst part? My pain is either invisible to those around me, or they choose to ignore it while cloaked in their own discomfort.

No, I’m lying. The worst part is the guilt pulling you under because your sixty year old mother shouldn’t have been driving in that storm to pick up the late order. That should’ve been you. Instead, you were home, nursing a broken heart over some guy who decided you weren’t worth his time anymore.

But because your mother had a heart of gold, she told you to take as much time as you needed to feel like yourself again. I lost my mother that day, all because I was crying over some guy whose name I don’t even remember.

Ten months have passed, yet the pain doesn’t fade.

It’s always just been the two of us. I still half-expect to see her enter the bookstore, carrying our favorite blueberry muffins and lattes from Sophie’s cafe. But every jingle of the bell brings a fresh wave of realization – she’s not coming back.

And it hits me every time that it won’t be her again.

Although this time when the bell chimes, it’s Sophie herself. She sees me and smiles, her brown eyes glittering with excitement as she holds up the signature blue paper bag and plastic cups.

“Thought you might need this,” she says as she walks towards the counter. “I know I could.”

“Aw, Soph, you really should stop doing this. I promise, I’m fine,” I say as I walk around the counter and wrap my arms around her.

We’ve been close since we were kids, the old sandbox love that always seems to stick in small towns. Honestly, if it weren’t for her, I don’t know where I’d be since nothing makes sense lately.

“Nonsense, you know I can come visit whenever I want,” she says, dismissing my words as we break off the hug. “Besides, the lunch time rush is over, so I have some time to spare.”

I can’t help but smile. Sophie’s daily 3pm visits are a highlight I never admit to looking forward to. She’d only make a bigger deal of it if she knew.

She opens the paper bag and starts to separate the goods, her brunette curls falling forward. “So, how have things been here today?” she says, gesturing around the room.

I roll my eyes. “You know the answer to that, Soph. No one reads paperbacks anymore, it’s all digital now,” I say with a sniff, trying to pass it off as nothing, but deep down it hurts. We still make enough to break even, but that’s it.

“I still think you should turn it into a cafe-cum-bookshop—“

“And keep them away from The Sugar Drop? I may just run you out of town!” I say sarcastically, pushing the idea to the side again even though I love it.

“Oh, babe, no offense but no one makes these muffins like I do, so you’ll have a hard time doing that,” she says with a wink, but I know she’s just humoring me. She does it to make me smile because God knows I haven’t really smiled in over ten months.

The last day I saw Connor.

Sandbox love doesn’t quite apply to Connor and I. As kids we were like oil and water, always at odds, always finding ways to get under each other’s skin. Until the day we were forced to do a project together and got to know each other better.

We found common ground in the grungy chords of Nirvana, and something shifted. He started seeing me not just as the girl he used to argue with over crayons, but as someone... interesting.

Our relationship took a turn after that project. High school years were filled with shared secrets and dreams under the starlit sky in the back of his pickup.

Even after he skyrocketed to fame with his band, becoming a rockstar that everyone adored, our bond remained unshakable. He always found his way back here after every tour, every album release.

In this small town, with no family left, he still returned and when he did it was as if he never left.

He was at the funeral too. Throughout the service, I was like a statue, no tears, just a void. But when I saw Connor standing there in the back after not being sure if he’d make it, something inside me shattered. It was in his eyes – those deep blue eyes shining with unshed tears and an understanding that went beyond words.

He was the one who finally brought me to tears, rushing to my side when I crumbled into a heap and letting me lean on him.

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