Page 143 of Billion Dollar Mistake

“Your parents have been so kind. I thought I’d walk in here and your dad or mom would throw me out for endangering their child. You have the best parents. You missed me crying like a baby in your mom’s arms. Would you believe me if I told you I don’t cry…like ever. Yet walking in and seeing the damage I’ve caused you sent me into a puddle. I’m so sorry I was distracted with work and not paying attention. I was selfish and careless. Now I can’t bring myself to look at my phone and I definitely cannot work. I don’t know when I’ll be ready to open that door, but at the moment it doesn’t feel right.”

I realize I’m talking about nothing and yet everything that is inside me. No one prepared me for what it’s like to speak to someone you love on a ventilator. It’s horrific and my stomach is twisting in pain.

There’s a book on the table. I’m guessing it’s her mom’s, but I pick it up anyway, opening it to chapter one, and read to her. I hope she can hear the words as she sleeps.

I know she loves reading and I love her. Right now, I need to bring her joy and stop the guilt that's wreaking havoc in my gut as I watch the crash on repeat in my mind. Reading her the book will make me focus on something else. A new world. A new scene.

I begin to feel my voice tire so after a few chapters, I close the book and put it where I found it.

I stay quiet after that and continue to stroke her hands with my thumb. The door opens, and I don’t want to let her go.

I’m not ready to be alone in my hospital room. How will I know when she wakes up?

“Jeremy, it's nice to see you. They told me to come in here and see how you are.” I tilt my head, seeing Chelsea behind me.

“I don’t want to leave.”

“I know but you will eventually have to. You can come back tomorrow.”

Tomorrow sounds so far away. I just want to be around her the whole time. Suddenly, an idea sparks inside me.

“I can come back,” I murmur.

I place my lips to the top of her hand.

“I’ll see you later, baby.”

I push my chair back and Chelsea helps me out the door. Nova’s parents see me and rush over.

“I’m heading back to my room now. You spend more time with her and please let me know if there’s any changes. I know I don’t deserve it, but I’d appreciate being kept in the loop.”

“We accept your apology, Jeremy. You need to forgive yourself too.”

Not yet. Not until Nova wakes and I beg for her forgiveness.

My brother stands and asks me if I’m ready to go.

I nod. Remaining silent, letting him wheel me away. The pain in my chest is worse than any of the injuries I sustained in the accident.

Later that night, I couldn't sleep. I need to be with Nova. I ask the nurse on shift if I can visit her. I’m charming her on purpose to get what I want.

She says yes but not for too long.

This time, I walk. When I reach her room, I see she’s alone. No one else is here but me. I sit in a chair by her bed and hold her hand. My body is finally tired as if it feels like it could rest now that she’s here. And if she wakes, I’ll be right here. So I lay my head on her bed beside our joined hands. I’m not leaving her tonight. They’ll have to force me to leave.

“Mr. Lincoln,” a voice calls from afar.

I grumble. But I don’t move.

“Mr. Lincoln.” A touch on my shoulder startles me.

I jerk in my chair, finding a nurse beside me.

“You need to go back to your room now.”

I wipe my face and look at the clock. Eight o’clock at night. An hour past visiting hours.

“I don’t want to leave her.”

---