Page 30 of California Waves

She swallowed. “At first, they weren’t sure I’d ever walk again.” She paused, allowing herself only a few seconds to look back at those dark, dark days. “But somehow I knew I would. Even as I was lying in bed in the hospital in agony, I knew deep down I’d surf again. Maybe not at the pro level, but I would figure it out. There are people out there who surf on one leg, and I worked as hard as anybody’s ever worked in rehab, and I got there. I walked again.

“Luckily, I had my own house here in Carmel and the greatest family ever. Everybody pulled together to help me and cheer me up when I was feeling down, and they made sure I had everything I needed and got to all my appointments. So I became stronger and stronger, and I got my confidence back. One day, I told the doctor I was ready to try surfing, and she said, ‘No, you’re not.’ But I knew my body, and I knew I could do it. Besides, I was almost at the breaking point of frustration.”

She paused and ate a mouthful of succulent fish, toying with what she was going to say next. “I’ve never even told my family this, but one day I just snuck out and went to a beach in Monterey where nobody knew me.”

“Were you at all nervous?”

“More than you can imagine.”

He shook his head. “Oh, I can imagine.”

“But when I saw the ocean up close again, I realized just how much I had missed her. It wasn’t painful at all. It was like seeing an old friend again after coming home from a long trip. And without thinking about it, I got out there, and I surfed. It wasn’t pretty, it didn’t last long, and my back hurt like hell afterward, but I did it. From that point on, I got my life back.”

He looked fascinated, riveted almost. “Good for you,” he said. “I’m still struggling with that.”

She put her hand on his. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. “You’ll get there.”

He turned his hand and clasped hers. There was strength and steadiness in that grip. He said, “Yes, I will.” And then, as if embarrassed by his admission, he withdrew his hand and began to eat.

She followed his lead, but then decided not to let the subject drop. “You know, honestly, when the doctors told me I’d never surf again professionally, I thought my world had ended. It took a long time for me to get over that and see a way forward without surf competitions being my whole life anymore.”

He put down his fork and then leaned closer to her across the table. “I always thought I was okay with dying. Obviously, space missions are as safe as they can be, but I do a dangerous job. But when I got sucked down into the ocean, it was like the sea was deliberately trying to kill me, and I was helpless.” He swallowed. “Maybe that was the worst—being so helpless. Even after I was rescued, that’s what the nightmares were about—the ocean sucking me under.” He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them. They were full of emotion. “I’ve never admitted these things to anyone else.”

She said, “Only you know about that illicit surfing trip. I’ve never told a single soul.”

“I’m honored by your confidence, and I’ll keep it to myself.”

“And I’ll keep yours.” After a pause, she said, “Maybe you don’t have to go in the water quite yet. Maybe you can give yourself some more breathing room.”

He suddenly looked very firm. “If I don’t get back in the water—and soon—I’ll never trust myself to go back into space. And no one else will trust me either.”

As if exhausted by their confessions, they both began to eat heartily, enjoying the candlelight and the atmosphere of the restaurant with its tables of chattering friends and couples.

She said, “Enough sad stories. How did it feel walking into the house as the homeowner for the first time?”

His smile was huge. “It felt great. I love everything about that house. And thank you for sending over your dad’s number. We’ve already been in touch. He said he’d hook me up with some painters.”

She nodded. “I knew he would. My dad’s the best.”

“I hope I get to meet him. He sounds like a really great guy.”

It suddenly crossed her mind to invite him to her brother’s wedding. But she stopped herself. It was ten days away, and she didn’t really know Herschel well enough yet, and she wasn’t at all sure she wanted to bring him to such an important family event. Even the fact that she’d thought of asking him made her pause. If she brought a guest to her brother’s wedding, her family would immediately think she had a new partner. No. She wasn’t going there. Instead, she said, “I’m going to take you on my secret special tour of all the highlights of Carmel-by-the-Sea. I think you’ll love it.”

“I can’t imagine a better tour guide. Thank you.”

After they both ordered coffee and declined dessert, Hersch pulled out his wallet, and she could see he was looking for a waiter. She said, “The other thing I did in advance? Pay the check. Welcome to Carmel, from me and Ferguson Realty. It’s on the company tonight.”

He put his wallet away but raised his eyebrows. Although he thanked her, she realized that Hersch was disappointed. Had she messed up by putting the dinner on the company card? It wasn’t unusual to wine and dine an extra-special client rather than send a gift basket. But from his expression, he’d thought their meal was more special than that… and it was. She could kick herself.

She lingered at the table, waiting to see if he might lean over and kiss her, but no, all the intimacy of the evening had disappeared. She ached with disappointment.

“If you really do feel that you’d like to get back in the water soon, come to my beginners drop-in surfing class tomorrow.”

“Maybe,” he said, looking unsure, and then he stood to pull out her chair.

The more she got to know Herschel, the more she wanted him. She just hoped she hadn’t messed things up by being her usual assertive self. She couldn’t bear the thought that Hersch might walk away from this night thinking she was just his real estate professional.

Chapter Sixteen

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