He looked stunned. “I’m not.”
“You literally just said you’re here to apologize for last night and you even brought me a bribe—albeit a strange one. Most men would’ve just sent flowers.”
His gaze darted to the floor, then back up to meet hers. “I keep fucking up with you.”
Her skin prickled at his soft tone. At the sincerity in his eyes. “What?”
“I keep fucking up with you. I keep doing and saying the wrong things when all I want is to do what’s right. To say what’s true. But then I let my fears take over and I just fuck things up again.” He took a breath. “But I’m trying to work through the fears. And all I’m asking for is a few minutes of your time and your patience while I do.”
She nodded slowly, her heart lodging itself in her throat so tightly, she had to clear her throat twice before she could speak. “I’m listening.”
“The ladder has nothing to do with what I’m here to apologize for. I got it so you could keep it under your bed. I thought it might help you feel more secure knowing that if you needed to get out through the window, you could do so safely. So you don’t feel trapped.”
She gaped at him, her stomach fluttering with nerves.
The ladder wasn’t a bribe.
It was proof he cared.
“While I appreciate the sentiment,” she told him, keeping her arms at her sides even though she wanted to grab that stupid ladder and hug it to her like it was a fluffy kitten, “I’m not comfortable accepting gifts. They often come with strings attached.”
She was way too tied up in this man as it was.
Watching her, he lifted the tote in his hands. “I bought this the day you moved in here. I’ve had it in my trunk ever since. I kept telling myself I was going to ask Harrison—Greer’s brother—to deliver it to you with some half-ass excuse that the MLFD gave them out to all new tenants in the city.”
Tabitha had never met Harrison, Greer’s older brother, but knew from the younger woman that he was a local firefighter.
“Didn’t want to lie?” she asked.
“I didn’t want you to meet him. He’s good-looking, ripped, and as sunny as Greer is. He’s like a giant fucking golden retriever and I’ve seen firsthand how hard women fall for him. It only gets worse when he lays on the charm.” One side of his mouth curled up in a self-depreciating grin. “I didn’t want to take the chance of you falling for him, too. And if you did, I sure as hell didn’t want to be the reason why you met him. So I’ve been driving around with it in my trunk for almost a month trying to work up the nerve to give it to you.”
She sighed. “Miles…”
“You don’t have to accept it,” he said quickly, taking a small step toward her. “But if you do keep it, I promise there are no strings attached. You won’t owe me a damn thing.”
She believed him. And it wasn’t because he was so good, so honorable and righteous and perfect. Not when he’d proved to her plenty of times over the past few weeks just how imperfect he could be. How human.
It was because he was here, when he could have stayed away.
Because he was giving her more of his truths, when he could have kept them to himself.
But mostly, she believed him for the simple fact that she wanted to.
And she really, really wanted that ladder. Not so much for what it was, but for what it represented.
When she finally held out her hands and accepted it, he looked like he’d just received a gift, too.
He took yet another small step toward her, which was when she realized that those tiny steps of his had added up and he was now so close, she had to tip her head back to maintain eye contact. So close, she could feel the warmth from his body. Could make out a few strands of silver in his whiskers.
So close, that if she lifted onto her toes, she could press her mouth to his.
It hadn’t escaped her attention that he hadn’t kissed her. Not that night at his house and not last night.
While she may have softened a bit and believed he had good intentions in coming here, while she may still harbor just the tiniest bit of hope that things could be different between them, she would not kiss him first.
She’d already given him so much. Too much.
And he hadn’t given her nearly enough.