He shifted uncomfortably. “That’s the job.” Kept his hand on her chest, the feel of her heart beating keeping him steady. “That’s not me.”

“It’s one hundred percent you. You see things in black and white, right or wrong, and have a hard time giving second chances. And you’re smart. Smart enough to know that while you’d love nothing more than to control every aspect of Verity’s life, she needs to make her own decisions. And mistakes.”

“Only because she never listens to me anyway,” he grumbled, the back of his neck warm.

This was the dangerous part about bringing Tabitha to Sunday family dinners. She saw too much. Such as how he interacted with his family. The dynamics between them. How he was trying to step back more when it came to Verity.

These past three weeks, Tabitha had been privy to his life in ways she’d never been before.

Ways he’d never allowed her before.

A third pat, this one of the you keep telling yourself that variety. “You’re insightful. You see what people need and you do your best to give it to them. Like hearing that your ex-girlfriend ate dinner alone at a local bar most nights and you inviting her to your family’s dinner in the hopes that she might become friends with your brother’s girlfriend.”

That warmth spread around to his throat. Climbed his face. The way this woman read him like a fucking book should have terrified him.

He shouldn’t like it. Shouldn’t like how it made him feel seen. Known.

But he did. He liked it a lot.

“I thought you and Willow would hit it off. That’s all.”

And they had. Enough that they’d taken a yoga class together twice and gone for coffee after.

“Yes, because we have so much in common. What with us both being white, cisgender women and all.”

“I didn’t want you to be alone. I hate the thought of you being lonely.”

“See? That’s exactly what I mean. You gave me something I wanted, without me having to ask for it. You’re generous. Thoughtful. And kind.”

“My motives weren’t completely altruistic. I also didn’t want you alone at The Cockeyed Chameleon because I didn’t want you being hit on by a bunch of assholes.” He paused. “And I really didn’t want to take the chance that one of those assholes might be a decent guy. Or that you might become interested in one of them.”

“No worries,” she assured him solemnly. “There’s only one asshole I’m interested in.”

He snorted out a surprised laugh at her teasing, and she looked so pleased with herself, so proud, he couldn’t help but duck his head and press a warm, soft kiss to her mouth.

“Good to know,” he murmured. “But it was still wrong of me. I do realize I don’t own you or your time, and I’m sure as hell not in control of who you talk to.”

“No, you’re not. But it’s nice, realizing you’re just as human as I am. Just as I have to take the blame for not realizing it before. For putting you on a pedestal and crowning you King of Morality and all that was Good and Decent and Right in the World. I made sure you were so far above me in every way, I’d never be able to reach you, no matter how high I climbed. And since I’d never be able to ascend to those heights, I could keep lying and hiding and playing it safe.”

“But Miles…” She slid her hand to his cheek. Searched his eyes. “No one expects you to be perfect. I don’t expect you to be perfect. I like you. Just as you are. And I want to keep getting to know you, who you are now. Not who you’re pretending to be. Who. You. Are. And I hope that you’ll trust me enough to let me.”

Chapter 34

“Iwant to,” Miles told her, still so close that his breath washed over her mouth when he spoke. “I’m trying to.”

Tabitha squeezed his hand. “That’s a start. But if we’re really going to do this… if we’re really going to move forward, we’re both going to make mistakes. All we can do is learn from them and work on forgiving each other. And ourselves.”

He nodded, not looking convinced about any sort of forgiveness.

Not for her.

Not for himself.

And yet he kept doing things that showed he was forgiving her. That he was trusting her more and more.

Things like inviting her to Sunday family dinner and giving her all the power to decide what the next step in their relationship would be; like admitting his fears about going to therapy and accepting her help with his anxiety attacks.

She kept waiting for the words, but it was easy to twist words around. Too easy to say one thing while doing the opposite.