Page 155 of Holding On To Good

Two could play the waiting game.

But only one could win and he was much, much better at it than she was thanks to his lifelong devotion to silence. Still, she managed to keep quiet by grinding her teeth together and pressing her lips in a tight, closed line. Lasted for ten seconds. Then twenty. As the thirty-second mark closed in, she couldn’t take it anymore.

The Humiliation of Willow Kincaid: Act Two.

“We’ll have to come up with some guidelines, of course,” she said, “so there are no recriminations, no hurt feelings or anger, no awkwardness between us when it’s all said and done.”

Now he lifted both brows. “Guidelines?”“He can speak,” she muttered, stepping into the office. “Just a few rules to make sure we’re on the same page.”

“Such as?”

His tone was low and silky, his expression clear.

Still, trepidation pinched the base of her spine. A realization that behind all that calm, cool and collected, was a man on the verge of something big. Something that warned her to tread carefully lest she be the one to push him over the edge.

And that when he fell, all her rules, plans and best intentions were going to be what ended up splattered in a million pieces on the ground.

“Such as we both agree to keep this new aspect of our relationship casual.”

“Casual,” he repeated flatly.

“No ties. No commitment. No expectations. Well,” she amended quickly, “other than the expectation that while we’re together, we’re not seeing anyone else, but if one of us does meet someone they’re interested in, we’ll end this part of our relationship and go back to how we were. Which brings me to the last and most important rule. We promise each other, here and now, before we go any farther, that no matter what happens, we’ll always be friends.”

She already knew she could live without Urban being hers. That she could survive day after day without feeling his touch. Without tasting his kiss. She’d done so for sixteen years. Would continue to do so long after this blip in time.

But she couldn’t fathom her life without him in it at all.

“Let me make sure I have this right,” he said. “You want us to be fuck buddies?”

She flinched, both at the title and the hard note in his tone. “I wouldn’t put it that way.”

“How would you put it?”

“Let’s not get hung up on labels. Let’s just say we’re two unattached adults who are physically attracted to each other, care about each other and want to have a good old-fashioned fling.”

“Like I said. Fuck buddies.”

“Look, if you’re not interested, just say so.” Although he’d seemed interested last night when he’d screwed her against the wall, but maybe for him, one time was enough.

Oh, God. What if one time was enough for him?

Humiliation swamped her. Had nausea rising in her throat, her palms going cold and clammy. “You know what?” she said, as breathless as if she’d just sprinted one hundred yards. “Forget it. Forget I said anything. Forget—”

“I’m interested.”

“—last night and…” His softly spoken words penetrated the whirling of her mind but they didn’t make sense. They sure didn’t match up with the bitterness in his tone. Conveyed the opposite of his dark, resentful glower. “What?”

“I’m interested.”

“You sure? Because your mouth is saying yes, but everything else about you is saying no.”

“I’m not going to turn down the chance to be with you again,” he said quietly. “I want you too much.”

Joy and hope and fear all mixed together inside of her, but she couldn’t handle any single one of them right now, let alone all three. She couldn’t admit her own feelings. Wasn’t sure she could trust his, not after all this time.

But she could hold on to him. For as long as possible.

Just not forever.

---