Page 18 of One Kiss Isn't Enough

I hate it here.

I hate him sometimes too.

“You okay?” Bri asks, her small hand landing on my thigh as I turn down the gravel road, my family home from view.

Words tumble at the back of my throat, all the thoughts that have been weighing me down compete to be heard. I don’t know what to say. That’s the God’s honest truth. But I settle on one thing as I flick on the AC to high.

“I just want to leave sometimes.” It’s far too simple. But at least it’s true.

“Where do you want to go?” The innocence and surprise isn’t hiding in her question.

“I don’t know.” Truth is, I’ve never even let myself think of where. Because the moment I think of leaving, I know I can’t. I barely passed high school. I put all my savings into the garage to start my own mechanic shop … and I can’t leave my mom.

“I don’t know, but right now I just need some space I think,” I tell Bri honestly as I drive down the long road to get to town.

I could go to Robert’s. I could stay there. He’d let me just like I’ve let him for years.

“Please don’t say that,” Bri whispers.

I have to take my eyes from the road to look at her. It’s a quick glance but then I take another. I love Bri, I’ve always loved her, but she keeps at it with needing more from me that I can give her.

Hell, I have nothing. No way to come see her across the damn country and that’s all she wants from me.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” I tell her. The last she text me, she gave me an ultimatum. Come up to see her or we’re over. I almost tell her, as far as I knew we were done, but that vulnerable look keeps the thought locked in the back of my throat.

“I want you to come with me,” she murmurs. Her hand shifts on my thigh and I think she’s going to take it away, but she doesn’t. She turns in her seat to face me, the leather of it groaning.

“Just come up north with me.”

“And how am I supposed to do that? Really Bri? I don’t even know if we’re together anymore.” I can’t help it as my hand twists on the steering wheel. It just flies out of my mouth. “You change your mind every five fucking minutes.”

“Don’t cuss at me,” she scolds and takes her hand back to cross her arms. Just like my father just did.

“Don’t--” I start but bite my tongue. I’m frustrated and worked up. I know better.

“I’m sorry,” I apologize and she doesn’t react other than to soften slightly in her seat.

I glance up and see the sign for main street but I drive passed it. I don’t even know where we’re going.

“I’m sorry too,” she tells me after a moment. And her hand comes back, I’m quick to grab it and steer with my left.

“I need you right now,” I don’t know where it came from, but I’m guessing something in me had to tell her that truth too.

“I’m here. I’m right here.”

BRIANNA

My parents went to the movies. I know they’re doing a grocery run when they’re done that. The back door to the patio slides open easily as Asher and I sneak in. The thought hits me for a moment that it’s crazy of us to ‘sneak in’ at all. We’re nineteen and there’s no reason at all to not go right up to the front door and waltz in… except that this town likes to gossip. They make a big deal out of everything.

Whether or not Asher and I are going to last is a topic of conversation in the hair salon according to my grandmother. With the floor creaking as the back door closes softly, all I can think is, it’s none of their damn business.

Asher’s hand, hardened from years of working in the garage with his father, slips into mine. The lock clicks up into place at the same time that I peer up at him.

We’ve been together for years and I’ve never seen him look at me like this. With a hurt that can’t be covered up by an asymmetric grin or a halfhearted, dry humored joke. The dark circles under his hazel eyes tell the story of him not sleeping well. We’re only just learning what life and being adults really is, and it’s so very apparent that it’s taken a toll on Asher and I have no idea why.

Turning fully to face him, I ask again, “Can you tell me what happened?”

Instantly his gaze is ripped from mine and he tries to pull his hand away, angling his body towards the kitchen.

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