Page 10 of Exposed

7

Madison didn’t recall how or when, but found herself in bed as sunlight broke through the windows. Alex was gone, with all evidence of their camping escapade magically erased. Even the fireplace seemed cool and untouched. Was I dreaming? She pulled up the covers and looked down to see that although her nightshirt still wrapped her arms, it remained unbuttoned. Nope. She breathed in the morning as a huge smile warmed her face. She stretched, revisiting her afterglow, when a few knocks interrupted her luscious jaunt down memory lane.

“Madison, you up?” Madison quickly buttoned her nightshirt but stayed in bed.

“Come on in, Jess.”

Jess entered, yawning, but looking every bit the spring daisy, despite her bed head and flannel robe. “Morning. Alex said you might like some coffee.”

“Mmm, yes please.” Madison stretched out her hands to graciously receive the steaming mug. Jess plopped on the bed next to her. “So, Julia Child and Betty Crocker are rustling us up some breakfast, but let me warn you now, those boys can really cook, and it’s going to look amazing. But with what you’re gonna do today, you’ll be walking a fine line between eating enough to have something in your tummy and overfilling the tank and risking a mid-event upchuck.” Madison already felt queasy at the thought of what lay ahead. She couldn’t risk such a disapproving departure of her courage.

“Toast and bacon it is,” she affirmed diligently.

“Breakfast should be ready in about fifteen minutes.” She patted her knee through the overfilled comforter and headed for the door.

“Um, Jess, before you go,” Madison couldn’t help but ask. “Did you and Mark hear anything last night?” She winced as the words spilled out.

“Hear anything?” She pursed her lips and glanced upward, as if trying really hard to remember something. “I’m not sure. What would it have sounded like?”

Madison wasn’t sure what to say. “Oh, I don’t know, just, you know, anything. Anything loud.”

“Well, we usually sleep like logs, so we don’t hear much. But last night we were probably too engrossed in making mad, passionate love to hear anything,” she said with a wink as she headed out.

The moment of truth upon her, Madison couldn’t quite believe what she was about embark on. She morphed through emotions, excited one minute, freaked out the next. Then enthusiastic. Then about to pee her pants. Between her pounding heartbeat and erratic breathing, she desperately focused on controlling her bladder. If I ever do this again, ixnay on the second cup of coffee! Alex stood right behind her, though he felt a hundred miles away.

“You okay?” he shouted. Madison just nodded and held up her thumb. “Just do what I told you. If you don’t get there, it’s no big deal. But I’ll be ready when you are.”

Madison reminded herself to keep calm. She quieted her mind, slowly embracing the wind in her face as she smoothed out each breath. From what Alex had said, her reaction could be anything at all, and varied strongly from person to person. Sobbing. Laughing. Heart-wrenching screaming. Jubilant shouting. A combination. Anything was possible. He was showing her a way of dealing with trauma and tragedy. With loss. It had helped many people, especially vets and their families, and Alex had led many folks through the journey.

He’d started the work years ago, with a small group of vets who were at their wits end, unable to deal with what they’d been through. It was where he met Mark. A rag-tag group just trying to get through each day without an emotional or physical eruption or meltdown. Or, God forbid, worse. Alex had heard of a new way people were dealing with PTSD, and none of them had anything to lose. As they tried it, each responded to it differently, but all of them came back again and again. For some, it was something, and sometimes the only thing, they had to look forward to. For others, it brought a strange solace and peace of mind they hadn’t had. And for Alex, helping others gave him purpose. He needed that. He needed to know there were vets he could help. He could save, perhaps.

She closed her eyes for a moment, visualizing exactly what Alex had said last night. The bow of the ship in “Titanic”. She opened her arms wide, recreating the beautiful scene with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. She opened her eyes and held her breath. She could clearly see through the goggles, and figured it was now or never. She leaned forward while stepping off, nearly panicking as her foot fell. Suddenly, she was in the terrifying elation of freefall, looking down from 10,000 feet as she let go of everything in her mind, and all the emotions she’d bottled up for so many years. She could feel Alex’s body against her, the tandem lead for her first skydive.

She didn’t shout or laugh. In fact, Alex’s only clue that she hadn’t outright fainted was that her arms were rigidly out to her sides. Madison was awestruck, taking in the freedom of being in flight and speed falling. One-hundred and twenty-two miles per second, she recalled. The wind briskly tugged her as her heart raced. Her mind and body succumbed, knowing that Alex, literally, had her back.

“Ready?” he said loudly.

She brought in her arms and held tightly to her harness, now feeling the surge of adrenaline pumping throughout her body. He deployed the drogue parachute first to reduce their speed, while prolonging the sensation of the freefall. Then, a pop and suddenly the drag of the larger chute jerked her gently. Alex grabbed the toggles, steering them for several minutes. The dizzying descent of the freefall transformed to anticipation as the drop zone came into view. Madison spotted Jess in the picturesque field growing rapidly closer by the second.

As the ground closed in, Madison lifted her legs as Alex had instructed the week prior. He would land them. They glided into the lush grass. With Madison’s legs propelled forward, the landing reminded her of coming off the end of a slip-and-slide, while Alex expertly stepped down to his knees, dragging them to a full stop. Madison fell back onto him, her lungs bursting for air. The exhilaration and ear-to-ear smile began to subside, disrupted by a few tears peering from beneath her goggles.

Jess ran over to them to help collect the parachute as Alex unclipped it and quickly removed his harness and goggles. As Madison continued leaning back into him, he helped remove hers as well. He gently pulled off her goggles and wiped her eyes. He brushed her cheeks with his knuckles. “How do you feel?”

Her smile waned, as creases emerged from her brow. She wasn’t sure exactly what to say. Her emotions tumbled over each other, moment by moment. Her confused look expressed how she was still processing it all. The only thing she knew with certainty was that she couldn’t move. Her body was heavy and weak. Alex studied her for a second, noticing that although she was pale, the color was returning to her face. “It’s all right. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Alex moved aside and gently reclined her down on the grass. He headed over to help Jess, letting her know they’d be there for a bit and requested a blanket. Jess made her way back to the house to retrieve one, and he returned to find more tears streaming down Madison’s now rosy cheeks. He sat on the ground next to her, and wiped her shimmering face. He could see she was struggling to speak. “Hey, you don’t have to say anything. We can stay here as long as you like.”

Jess brought over a cashmere throw and two bottles of water. She didn’t linger. Her faith in Alex’s skill to pull Madison through whatever she was experiencing was apparent. She’d seen it first-hand many times before.

He pulled the lightweight blanket over her, and postured himself to sit next to her, but she pulled him closer, silently insisting they lay next to each other. He took her hand and kissed it. “I’m not going anywhere.” He rubbed a few more tears from her face. “Take all the time you need.” With the sun shining and birds chirping, Madison wanted nothing more than to snap out of it, hop up, and enjoy the day with Alex, but so much poured through her, paralyzing her. Until the emotional tug-of-war subsided, all she could do was to lie there, weeping, losing herself in the shapes of the clouds far above. Alex wove his fingers through hers. He clasped it, reassuring her without the need for words.

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