Page 96 of 4-Ever

“What if they suggest that the assault by Dallas is somehow linked to the cancellation?”

“No comment. Not until we know who we’re dealing with.”

“If we ever know,” Brodie added. “Normally I’m not shy with shooting my mouth off, but suddenly, like Faise said, I’m nervous. Which is totally fucked up because I’ve never let anyone do that to me. It’s not in my nature to be cautious or unsure. And we’d never have become this successful if we weren’t fearless. I don’t want this asshole to win.”

“They won’t,” Lennie assured us. “We monitor threats every single day. Most turn out to be nothing. Yes, you should be cautious, but no, you can’t let that stop you from living.”

“Okay, enough heavy shit,” Holloway sighed and pulled out a pack of cards from his pocket. “Let’s play. Loser buys all the drinks after our first show in Tampa.”

“You’re on,” I replied.

We finally started to relax, playing cards, joking around, doing our usual thing.

We arrived in Tampa near midnight. Since neither Faise nor I had slept last night, and a few hours on the bus, we were tired and went back to our bunk.

Unlike some tours where we’d stay at hotels along the way, we were sleeping on the bus for the next few weeks. It wasn’t ideal but at least security knew where we were at all times, and we could leave at a moment’s notice if need be.

The only difference compared to when we used to travel was that Faise and I were now sharing a bunk. We still hadn't talked about what would happen when we got back home, but given that Faise was already living with me, I assumed the next step would be for him to sell his house and move in permanently. That idea was the only thing keeping me from ruminating about the cancelled show.

We did several interviews that morning, and then got dressed and headed over to the venue for soundcheck. Despite Lennie’s reassuring words, every errant noise made us jump. We were all on edge. Who wouldn't be?

Once I had my bass guitar in my hand, my nerves began to quiet. Strumming out a few random chords, I warmed my fingers up and let the music distract me. Everything else was the same, but I noticed that Ace, our sound engineer, and Tommy, one of our road crew, were quiet too. Brodie was resting his voice as usual. Faise sat behind his kit, his knee jumping up and down.

“Nine Gone Wrong?” I asked, looking around at my bandmates.

And my boyfriend.

We started the song, and I got lost in the rhythm, tapping out the tune with my left foot and then turning around to face Faise. Watching him get in the zone turned me on. And when he caught my stare and smiled back, all the hair on my body stood on end. It was hot as fuck in the venue, but I had chills and goosebumps all over.

How long had he been looking at me like that and how had I missed it? Or had I seen it and been afraid to face what it meant?

Whatever the answer, I couldn’t look away anymore.

I continued to strum the riff and walked over to Holls. We played off each other, and I spun around again and watched Brodie do the same on his guitar.

By the time we reached the end of the song, I was ready to play all night. The energy that pulsed between us was an awesome thing. The way it always was when the four of us got on stage and let loose. Music had always been my escape. It made me forget about the fights between my parents, it made me forget that we were so poor sometimes we barely had anything to eat. And it gave me hope, a dream, and as it turned out, a better life for myself and for my family. It fed something inside of me, as vital as any bit of food or water I’d needed to survive. It was difficult to explain, but if you asked any other musician, they would tell you the same thing.

Whether you were playing to a crowd of 1 or 100,000, performing made you feel alive. It really was as simple as that.

I didn’t take for granted that I got to do this every day, playing music with my friends, but especially with Faise. It was like one of those concerts that you just never wanted to end. One that you remembered for the rest of your life. I wasn't foolish enough to think that it would always be this way, but I sure as hell was going to enjoy living in the now.

We finished up the song with Holloway’s heavy riff and our crew clapped loudly.

“Shit, that’s good,” Faise called out. “We needed that.”

“Fucking right we did.” Holls nodded and passed his guitar to Tommy. I slid mine off and did the same.

Soundcheck was done and now it was time for us to get ready for the VIPs. We had a group at every show, usually sponsors and people in the biz. Personally, I preferred the meet and greet with the fans after the concert, but kissing corporate ass was part of the job.

First, we had to change and get our hair done.

Payton, our stylist, was already waiting in the dressing room, chatting with Lennie. Or rather, Payton was flirting, and Lennie looked like he wasn’t sure quite how to handle the attention. And the last thing we needed right now was a flustered bodyguard.

“Payton, stop toying with Lennie and pay attention to me,” I teased.

“No way, honey,” Payton shook his head, his blond curls bouncing. “I could never steal you from Faise. I’m not that kind of man.”

“Thank you,” Faise muttered and then gave me the stink eye.

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