Page 109 of 4-Ever

I shook my head, then kissed his chest again. “I was so raw at the time, and I wasn’t ready to face it. I told you the truth. My addiction wasn’t just about keeping my feelings for you a secret. It was a lifetime of insecurities. Of feeling like I didn’t measure up to other people’s expectations, of not being enough, and using drugs to escape my anxiety.”

Ronin bit his lower lip.

“And how would you have reacted back then if I’d told you I wanted you? I didn't want to fuck up, not us or the band, but us most of all.”

“I can't say for sure how I would have reacted. The only thing I know, the only thing I've ever been certain of, is that I love you. Friends first, and always, and now—” his voice cracked, hoarse with emotion. “Now as the man that I can't live without. Do you understand? I love you. I’m in love with you. Not just as you were, but as you are. You’re everything to me. My one and only.”

I trembled in his arms. When he reached up to cup my face, I realized he was shaking too.

Our bodies swayed together as the bus rocked. My world rocked along with it.

“I’ve been in love with you for so long,” I confessed. “I love you so, so much.”

Fuck, finally saying the words I’d held onto for years was exhilarating.

“I can’t even explain it. It overwhelms me. I’m flying, and falling, but it’s amazing. And I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I promise, nothing goes unsaid between us. Not anymore.”

He nodded, pulling me up close, taking my lips in a kiss that echoed our words.

Did Ronin just say he loved me?

“Faise, baby, are you okay?”

He gently swiped my cheeks with his thumbs, and it was only then that I realized I was crying.

This time, happy tears.

I nodded, leaning in to whisper against his lips. “I hope the shock absorbers on this bus are brand fucking new because we are about to give them a test they’ve never seen.”

Ronin’s booming laughter woke up the entire bus.

CHAPTER 35

FAISE

Iwasn’t joking.

Now that we’d finally spoken our truth, there was no stopping the intense need to show each other what we meant.

Ronin’s eager hands delved into my pants while I sucked on his neck, marking him.

“Get these fucking jeans off, now,” he demanded, shoving my jeans down, gripping my ass cheeks so tight I knew I was gonna have bruises there tomorrow. “Get naked and fuck me.”

Fumbling in the dark, we were a frantic tangle of grunts and moans, hard bodies, and soft sheets. There was hardly any space in here for Ronin, never mind the two of us, but to me, it was the sexiest place to fuck. Ever. Everything was more intense because there was no separation between us. It was heady—the smell of our combined arousal, the echo of our sighs and moans, the air charged with electricity.

I reached frantically under the mattress to find the lube, then slicked up two fingers.

Ronin pulled his knees to his chest, opening to me.

When I slid one finger over his hole, teasing him, he growled so loud that I swear the walls around us vibrated. I pushed inside him, slowly, and he canted his hips, taking more.

“Hurry up,” he hissed.

I drilled deep inside his ass, then crooked my finger and tormented his prostate.

“Yes!”

Ronin’s shout was booming.

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