Page 15 of 4-Ever

Me and Holls nodded our approval. Holy shit, we had a fucking name.

We played a few songs from two of our favorite bands, Nirvana and Goo Goo Dolls, testing things out. We sounded great together, but I didn’t want to jinx things by saying anything. Time would tell. We just met. And we were only sixteen, so who the hell knows what could happen in a year? Still, something about our coming together seemed like fate to me. All four of us wanted to be musicians and nothing else.

Most people would say we were crazy. Go to college, take the safe job. Me? I couldn’t sit at a desk for eight hours a day, day in and out. School was bad enough.

After an hour of playing, laughing, and listening to Brodie’s smart-ass commentary about our playing, it was time to head home.

“See you guys tomorrow?” Brodie asked over his shoulder, as he and Holloway headed for the exit.

I nodded and waved at him, still unable to look at Ronin.

“What’s wrong?” Ronin finally asked me as we walked out.

“Nothing.”

“It’s obviously something.”

I paused on the steps of the school and finally looked up at him. “I saw you.”

“Saw me what?”

“You and Ilya. After music class,” I snapped. “Under the stairs.”

Ronin

“Oh. That.”

“It’s none of my business,” Faise bit out. “I’m just surprised that you want to kiss someone who talks shit about you all the time.”

I shrugged. “Um, I don’t know how to explain it.”

That was a lie. I did, I just didn’t want to have to. Not to Faise.

“I mean, it’s hot,” I confessed. “We hate each other, and we’re arguing, and then suddenly?—”

“And then he uses you,” Faise snapped and took off down the stairs.

“Hey, that’s not fair,” I whispered as I followed him. “It’s just a kiss. I’m using him too. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just hormones. And lots of people are in the closet. They don’t or can’t come out.”

Faise flinched.

I suspected that my best friend was queer, like me. But I never asked. I was ready to come out at thirteen, but everyone is different. And it wasn’t easy. My dad walked out that day and I hadn’t had contact with him since. Not that I had much contact before, but still. Being abandoned by one of your parents for just being you is the hardest thing ever.

“I don’t like the fact that Ilya makes fun of you and then does that. Like you’re a dirty secret. You deserve better.”

That was Faise, always coming to my defense. I pulled him in for a side hug and ruffled his hair.

“Don’t.” He pulled back and swatted my hand away. “I’m still mad.”

“There’s nothing to be mad at. I’m fine. Like I said, it’s just a kiss. And I was curious. And horny. It’s not like I have feelings for the guy.”

“Okay,” he sighed. “As long as you’re all right.”

“I am. But thanks for your concern, boo,” I teased.

I got his middle finger in response. Good, we were back to normal. We walked along the pathway that led to the bus stop.

“So, Brodie and Holloway, they’re cool, eh?” Faise muttered, changing topics.

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