Page 81 of The Red-Hot Stakes

She stopped dead in her tracks. “Tell me you didn’t break up with him because you got scared. Tell me this isn’t a self-protection thing. Or because of that stupid curse you think you have.”

Maybe this is easier. I didn’t deny it.

“Gina, talk to me!”

I whirled on her. “I can’t. I can’t talk to you.” I clenched my hands into fists, desperately trying to keep it together. All I wanted was to pour my heart out and sob in her arms. Instead, I steeled myself, making sure my barriers stayed firmly in place. “I’m not ready to talk about this with you or anyone else. It’s over, and everyone has to accept it.”

Some part of me hoped she’d see through my façade as I started walking again. That she wouldn’t accept my bullshit answer, and I’d be forced to tell her everything.

But that hope was dashed as she called after me, “How can you be so cold-hearted? You’re not the only one hurting, you know. Do you have any idea what you did to Liam?”

The words hit their mark, but I didn’t stop, didn’t stumble, even though all I wanted was to rage at the injustice of it all. I wanted to shout that I’d done it for Liam, to protect him. Instead, I let her think the worst of me, pretending it didn’t matter.

When it was the only thing that mattered.

* * * *

The days were rough, to put it mildly. A new routine was always hard, and I missed Sarah, Wyatt and Burt. And Liam, especially Liam. I missed his cedar and pine scent, his big muscles, the way he crowded me. My queen bed was too spacious, and I felt too small, too alone without him.

I also missed Avery. The chasm in our relationship quickly grew to a canyon, my continued silence widening the span between us.

Wednesday evening was Avery and Derek’s shower. The morning of, I debated whether or not I should even go.

I’d bought her the dress, but I had another little present I’d saved for her. My gift tucked under one arm, I lifted my chin and gathered my fake confidence as I strode in, weaving through the many guests. I wore the dress Avery and I had chosen that day with Selena’s help, hoping it’d be a peace offering.

The gift table practically buckled under the weight of the presents. I added mine to the stack, turning around only to see Liam, who went white as a sheet. Derek followed his gaze, his expression coated in an unfamiliar iciness that made me flinch. He growled, stepping protectively in front of his friend. Avery and Rhonda waltzed in, arm in arm.

She wasn’t wearing the dress I’d bought her. That detail stabbed into me, another knife wound adding to the collection of the gaping holes in my heart.

“Gina!” Avery gasped. “Oh, um, you must not have received my message.” She hurried over, lowering her voice and steering me toward the door. “We thought maybe you should avoid the shower today. You know, with everything.”

Anger coursed through me. So that’s how it’s going to be. “I wanted to drop off my present for you. Congratulations, BFF. I like your dress.” My words dripped with acid and hurt. “Be sure to let me know beforehand if I’m uninvited to the wedding, will you? I’ve already taken the time off work.” I stormed out of the door, anger and betrayal swirling inside me.

Maybe she’d take back my invitation to the wedding. I couldn’t think of anything worse at the moment than spending ten days with my so-called friends judging me the whole time.

Except not spending ten days with them.

Rage built inside me, all the hurt fueling the fire into a blazing inferno. The hall wasn’t far from Lake Michigan’s sprawling beach, and I toed off my flats, running the several blocks before I hit the cold sand where I fell to my knees. My scream was carried away by the wind.

A steady resolve built in me, growing stronger with each wave that crashed on the shore.

I was done being a pawn. I’d keep my word, since it was probably too late to fix things anyway. I had played my part too well. But I was done moping, done feeling sorry for myself. My friends could think what they wanted about me, but I knew the truth.

And I’d do it again.

My throat tightened at the pain of another abandonment. If they were willing to judge me so quickly, then who needed them. If Avery was willing to throw away all our years of friendship over this, choosing them over me, then so be it. I stood up, brushing off my legs.

I walked home, desperate to burn away my lingering emotional energy. A flier caught my attention, advertising a gym just around the corner from Sally’s. They offered self-defense and boxing.

I’d taken classes before. When I’d first started college, it had been a way of dealing with my anger and past frustrations. It had helped more than therapy. Why wouldn’t it help now? I snapped a pic of the info, striding past my new house right to the gym.

“Do you have any self defense or boxing classes tonight with openings?” I asked, leaning on the counter.

“We have one class that starts in twenty minutes—beginner’s boxing. But you’re not dressed for it.” The lady behind the desk snapped her gum.

No shit, Sherlock. I tried to keep my voice somewhat pleasant. “I don’t live far from here, but didn’t want to change if there wasn’t any availability.”

I signed up for a month-long trial period. If I wanted to stay on after that, I’d even get a student discount. Then I hurried back to Sally’s to change. Maybe I couldn’t have prevented this from happening, but I was done being the victim. It was time to fight.

---