Page 20 of Always Right

Fuck.

Every fucking cell in my body wanted to promise her it would be okay, but I couldn’t lie to her. It wouldn't be, at least not for a long time. Her trembling hands wiped away tears that threatened to fall and all I could do was look at her.

"But I know I can't do that to Annie and Isa." She sniffled, shaking her head. "I refuse to hurt them and you're their father..." She swallowed, as if the admission was a hard one to say out loud. It stung, but my mouth was shut, letting her say her piece. It was the least she deserved. "I won't deny them what we didn't have. They deserve two parents that love them, and God help me, I know you do. I know you'd never hurt them. Right? You would never walk out on them?"

"Never."

I couldn’t promise much else. I couldn’t promise I'd be a perfect father because I was a shitty man, but I could promise that I would be there for them. That they would have what Hannah and I didn't—a loving family.

Maybe not in the traditional sense...but we'd both be there.

"You can see them whenever you want...and I don't mean just here. You can go to my house, take them to your place...whatever you want. Just please...please stay sober. I can't...I..."

I nodded in understanding. She didn't have to say it.

I knew what she meant.

I can't have you around if you relapse.

I wouldn't want them to see me either.

She was trying. For their sake, Hannah was setting aside her anger, her resentment, for our daughters to have a better chance at life than we did. I'd be a damned fool if I didn't take the chance she offered me.

Even more if I failed her.

I wouldn’t.

Not again.

Chapter 8

Hannah

I never pictured myself as the diaper changing type. Never really was, until I met Lily. My beautiful niece had ignited a need for a family in me that I’d never felt before, and seeing Derek with her, well...that had driven my hormones crazy. I wanted everything with him.

Annie squealed as I took a little too long to put on her diaper and Isa pouted, because the attention wasn’t completely on her. The sight brought a smile to my face. They were precious—a force to be reckoned with.

They each had their own personality already. It didn’t matter that they were twins and had shared thirty-six weeks in my belly. No...they had a mind of their own. Annie was the happy one. Anything and anyone could make her smile. She was patient. Isa, on the other hand, knew what she wanted, and didn’t have much patience. No matter what, however, if Annie was by her side, Isa would calm down, and vice versa. They loved each other, their bond unbreakable. After all, they’d grown together inside of me, their hearts started to beat at the same time...for them, there wasn’t life without each other.

I picked them up, somehow finding the way to hold both in my arms, finding comfort with them. They were the family I never had.

The family I always yearned for.

Thunder rumbled outside as rain started to pour, with it washing away any hope I had for Derek to show up for the day. I’d sent him a single text with my address on it since I was off. He had replied with only three words, “I’ll be there.” but he never showed. I supposed it was illogical, thinking he would see them every day. It didn’t make it hurt any less.

He probably didn’t want to see me any more than I wanted to see him.

My eyes closed at the thought, forcing away my disappointment.

I held my babies until they fell asleep, held them until the heartache dissipated, replaced by acceptance.

Acceptance for my circumstances.

Acceptance for the shitty cards life had dealt us, like Derek said.

With a sigh, I laid down the girls in their bassinet, watching over them for a few seconds as they slept, peacefully unaware of the battle waging inside.

The rain didn’t let up. I opened the door, stepping outside and sitting on a wooden chair on the porch. I sat back, admiring the designs that the lighting created in the night sky.

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