Page 22 of Always Right

Everything in me stirred, no matter how much I tried to avoid it.

“Sorry, I’m late,” he said as soon as he was under the covering of the porch. His bright green eyes were hopeful, a hint of nervousness within them as he spoke...and I couldn’t tear mine away from him. After our conversation just twenty-four hours ago, he looked younger. He looked at peace.

Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“Hannah?”

His voice brought me back to reality. “Huh?”

He fought a smile, I could see it, but he didn’t mention my momentary lapse. “I said I brought food. Italian, from your favorite place...” He paused, his brows furrowing, “Or what used to be your favorite place. I suppose I don’t know if it still is.”

“It is,” I whispered.

The sound of booming thunder startled me, making me jump. Derek didn’t move an inch, his eyes fixed on me, their gentleness forcing me to look away once again. Wordlessly, I opened the door, his footsteps following behind me.

“So, this is your place,” he said, looking around, until his gaze settled on the boxes against the wall. “It’s nice...but you haven’t finished unpacking.”

I snorted. “Yeah. Those boxes are now a permanent part of the decor.”

I heard his quiet laugh, biting down on my lip to not smile at the sound. I liked it, I always had.

“When did you move?” He followed me into the kitchen, setting the food on the island before gazing around. It was smaller...much smaller than the house I had owned when I worked with my mom, than when I was married to Nathan, but it was enough.

“A week before the girls were born. Didn’t have time to unpack.”

“Almost four months later and still no time, huh?”

I shrugged. “I just haven’t gotten around to it.”

Sure. I could say that.

The truth was that no matter how much time passed, it didn’t feel like home. I liked it. It was a roof over our heads, but it wasn’t where I wanted to be. Not that I knew. I didn’t know much of anything anymore.

Derek took out the Styrofoam boxes, handing one to me along with the plastic utensils. The smell invaded the kitchen and my stomach growled; the sound louder than I would have expected. Derek shook his head, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“You’re starving.”

“Nope. Just a little hungry.” He watched as I opened it up, taking the first bite of the tortellini alfredo he brought. I moaned, unable to help the sound as I closed my eyes and took the first bite. He was right—I was starving and hadn't eaten a full meal all day. When I looked up, his gaze was focused on me, the green eyes I was so familiar making my heart stutter.

We ate in silence, or I did...he took a couple of bites but didn’t eat much else.

After I finished, we walked upstairs to their room. He opened the door quietly, approaching them as they slept soundly. He smiled, lovingly and my chest tightened.

He was beautiful.

Perhaps an odd word for a man, but it was his soul. The soul that carried many scars from his childhood, from heartbreak and yet could still manage to end up on the other side that was beautiful. I was angry, not blind. I left him alone, making my way downstairs as I tried to keep my emotions in check. If I let him be close it was for their sake, not mine. I sighed, walking up to one of the large windows and watching the rain that continued to fall.

His footsteps let me know he was approaching, but I didn't move, seeing him through the reflection in the window. He stalled, stopping just behind me. Close enough that I could almost feel his clothes brushing against me, but far enough that he wasn't touching me. I swallowed thickly, unsure of what to do as his eyes met mine through the window.

"Thanks for dinner. I’m surprised you remembered my favorite dish," I whispered.

I wanted so badly to read his mind, to know where it had traveled. I wanted to know if he was as conflicted as I was, if it hurt him to be close to me as much as it hurt me.

“There’s not a thing I’ve forgotten about you.”

His hands were to his sides, fisted, as if trying to restrain himself. My heart beat wildly. Eager.

And I wasn’t sure I could say a thing, not when he looked at me like that, like I was the only woman in the world.