She was right...to some extent.
But oh, how I wished someone would comfort me.
How I wished someone could tell me it would all be alright.
How I wished I could believe it.
I sat alone in a waiting room...waiting for something.
Maybe I waited for a doctor to tell me it would all be okay. I wasn’t sure anymore.
I looked down at my clothes, all stained in red before my gaze focused on the clock on the wall. Each second ticked by so fucking slowly.
Letting out a shuddering breath, I placed my hand over my heart, trying my best to still its crazy beat.
There were so many unknowns.
Derek was in surgery and Blake...oh, Blake.
I wiped away the angry tears that rolled down my cheeks as the events replayed in my head over and over and over.
I couldn’t help it.
Opening up your heart only opens the door to pain.
I must have seemed crazy, but I let out a small laugh, shaking my head at the irony of it all. My mother hadn’t been completely wrong about that, but I couldn’t imagine a life in which I hadn’t felt Derek’s love, in which I hadn’t experienced a friendship like Blake’s. I wouldn’t change it for the world, even if the world seemed to be collapsing around me.
“Hannah Carson?”
A police officer followed by a man in a suit entered the small room. My heart caught in my throat and I stood up, hoping they had news for me.
Good news.
“We need your statement, ma’am.” My trembling hands ran through my hair as I stared at the men in disbelief. Despite being exhausted from crying, my eyes met the young officers. They were beautiful, an emerald green I’d seen before, but they weren’t as breathtaking as Derek’s.
Not even close.
“What’s your name again?”
“Officer Pearson and this is det--”
I cut him off with a glare. “Officer Pearson. My husband was shot by my stalker. He is currently undergoing emergency surgery and my best friend...” My voice broke as I spoke, but I cleared my throat, forcing myself to continue. “My best friend lost so much blood the paramedics couldn’t even find a pulse when they arrived. My two daughters are with my brother-in-laws parents because I am too unstable to care for them at this moment. Do you really think, Officer Pearson and Detective whoever-the-hell you are, that I am in any condition to give a statement without an attorney? Hm? Because I think the answer is no...so now, please get the fuck out.”
The two men looked at each other, then back at me with so much fucking pity it made my insides twist...until I saw the people standing behind them.
“Evie! Nathan!” I nearly shoved the officers out of the way, pushing past them as I ran toward my sister. Evie hugged me, wrapping her arms around me and holding me up as I collapsed into her embrace. The sobs I had desperately tried to hold back broke through and I cried...mourning our lives that wouldn’t ever be the same.
Mourning the family we yearned to have but always seemed to slip through our fingers.
I heard Nathan as he spoke to officers and thought I heard our private investigator talking to them as well, but couldn’t focus on anything as my sister held me, walking me back into the lonely room.
“It’s going to be okay, Hannah,” she whispered through her tears. “I promise. It has to be okay.”
My heart wanted to believe her, it did...but it was too broken to do so. I wasn’t sure how much time passed with Evie holding me there until I felt a hand on my back, gentle and soothing. Glancing up, I found Nathan holding out a water bottle for me.
He knelt in front of me, opening it up before wordlessly giving it to me. His stormy gray eyes looked at me with so much heartache I could barely handle it.
“The doctors are asking if you’re ready,” he murmured. My eyes widened and I nodded frantically as two men appeared at the door. Nathan took my hand in his, holding it tightly while Evie stood up and held onto the chair next to me.