Page 47 of Never Less

Even though I’m worn out, I want to do it all again. I doubt my body could handle it, though, so when she pulls back, I let her.

“I should, um…” Liliana clears her throat. “I should go pee.”

When she slides off the table, her legs immediately give out, but I was expecting it. My arms are already around her waist, and I keep her from falling. She groans as I lift her and place her back on the table.

This. This is how I want to keep her. Freshly fucked, breathless and sweaty, and unable to stand on her own.

“Maybe give yourself a minute,” I say with a chuckle.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to take more than that,” she mumbles, nuzzling her face against my chest. Something in her voice sounds off, but I can’t quite place it. “So… so tired.”

“You can.” I caress her hair, smoothing it over and holding her to me. “And mark my words, Liliana, you will.”

With an exhausted noise, she lets herself fall back onto the table, hitting her head on the wooden surface with a thud.

“Careful,” I murmur, brushing her hair out of her face.

“I’m okay,” Liliana whispers, and the reassuring smile she gives me contradicts the tears in her eyes. She presses her lips together and looks away, trying to control it, but the tears fall onto her cheeks anyway. When her face scrunches up, she places a hand over her mouth and shuts her eyes.

“Hey.” Gathering her into my arms, I tug her into a sitting position. I keep my voice gentle and soothing as I say, “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

My first thought is that this was too soon, but I push that worry aside. There are many reasons people cry after sex, and not all of them are bad.

“It just—” She’s broken off by a sob that wracks her entire body. “I—I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“It’s all right, little star.” I stroke her back. “It’s all right.”

That only seems to make her cry harder. While she does, I rock her back and forth. Panic threatens to overtake me, and this time, my thoughts win.

You’re a damn fool for thinking she was ready for this.

You’re just as selfish as Nate.

Why couldn’t you just wait?

Guilt settles over my shoulders, heavy and painful. I clench my jaw, forcing myself to focus on the softness of Liliana’s skin as I run my hand up and down her back. She needs me to comfort her right now, not to get lost in scolding myself.

So I hold her while she clings to me. I don’t say anything until she goes quiet, the only sound coming from her an occasional sniffle. When I pull away to get a good look at her, her eyelashes are clumped together, and her cheeks are soaked.

“Little star,” I whisper.

Her bottom lip begins to tremble, but she gulps in a breath to keep herself from dissolving into tears again. “You’re just… you’re everything I’ve ever wanted, Marcus,” she says shakily. “And everything I didn’t think I’d get.”

Dipping my head down, I lean my forehead against hers, closing my eyes in relief.

Liliana reaches up to touch the star tattoo behind her ear. “I used to think I would. I told myself I’d never settle, that I’d never tolerate someone who didn’t respect me. But then…”

My heart aches for her. We may be here now, but that doesn’t erase the past. It makes perfect sense that she’s mourning what could’ve been. It’s something I had to do, too, years ago.

“I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to come to you,” she whispers. “I would’ve saved us both from so much pain. So much loneliness. We could’ve…”

“I know.”

“And Marcus, I’m so scared.” Her voice is small and shaky. “I’m scared I won’t be enough again. Please just… please tell me this is going to last. Tell me that’s what you want. Tell me you won’t…” She looks away again.

“Oh, we’re lasting, Liliana. I’m yours until the day I die, and until then—and after then—you never accept less than what you deserve, you hear me?”

“Not even from you?”

---