Page 30 of Never Less

“I mean that…” She shakes her head. “I don’t know.”

“That’s all right, you know. You’re allowed to take your time making a decision.”

At that, her gaze flits to me. She takes in my face, her gaze settling on my mouth for far longer than is appropriate. When I smirk, her cheeks flush, and she takes a long sip of her wine.

“I don’t want to take my time,” she admits eventually.

“Oh?”

“I feel like I’m stuck in some sort of weird limbo. I don’t like it. And I know I deserve better than this, but I’m too scared to let go.”

“Why?”

“Because Nate is… he’s safe. From an outside perspective, we have it all. And… god, I know how this sounds, okay? But I’ve gotten used to the way he treats me. And uprooting my entire life without knowing where I’d go… how things would turn out… that’s really scary.”

“Is that what you want, Liliana? To be with someone who treats you like shit?”

“Well, no, but—” She cuts herself off, and her shoulders droop. “So you do think I’m being naive. God, I knew it.”

“I never said that.”

“You don’t have to say it. It’s obvious. You—”

“Little star.” I cover her hand with mine on the table, and this time, she doesn’t pull away. “We all get a little lost sometimes, myself included. This is a hard decision, and there are a lot of what ifs to take into account. So no, I don’t think you’re stupid.”

“Do you think he deserves it?”

“Deserves what?”

“Another chance,” she whispers, her eyes wide.

“He’s my son,” I say slowly, watching as Liliana deflates even further, but I’m not done yet. “I should be on his side, but… no. No, I don’t think he deserves it.”

“Oh.” She sounds surprised, but she recovers quickly as our waiter brings us our food. Once they’re gone, she risks a glance up at me. “I didn’t think you’d say that.”

“I can’t lie, it’s selfish on my part. But even after I set my personal feelings aside, I still don’t think he deserves a second chance, and you definitely don’t owe him one.”

“Selfish,” she echoes, her voice quiet and thoughtful. She toys with the dainty star necklace that Lori gave her yesterday, and I realize she painted her fingernails with a burgundy polish.

“That’s right. Incredibly, undeniably, shamelessly selfish.” It feels like baring my soul to her, and in a way it is, but one of us has to. I have no qualms about it being me.

She watches me for a few more seconds before she leans forward ever so slightly. “Tell me about your life here. Please?”

“It’s quiet,” I tell her. “And I like quiet. I have my work, although with the amount of money I’m making, I could retire at any point. I’ve toyed around with the thought, but I haven’t yet because I’m worried I’ll get too…”

“Lonely?” she says softly.

It feels shameful to admit, but I nod anyway. I’m surrounded by friends who’d do just about anything for me, and I have a deeper connection with them that I ever had with my ex-wife. But still, there’s a line drawn—they’re friends. Only friends.

I still wake up alone every morning. My house is beautiful but empty. And if I didn’t have work to escape from it, I think it would eventually drive me mad.

Liliana pulls her hand away from where I’m still holding it, and a physical pain shoots through me. But then she lays her hand on top of mine, her touch warm and comforting.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “It… can be painful.”

“It can be, but I keep myself busy. Working on the house, going out with friends, taking the occasional trip. Overall, I’m happy. Although it’s been much better since you got here.”

Her smile is bashful, but I don’t miss the delight shining in her eyes.

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