Page 31 of Driving Force

After taking what may have been the longest shower known to man, I step out dressed to head to the track, only to be met by my best friend with an expression that I know all too well from him. “Matt, I really don’t want to hear a lecture right now. I’ve got enough on my plate, and you, of all people, know that what is being said isn’t true. I love Tinley, and I wouldn’t hurt her.”

“Yeah, I know you wouldn’t hurt Tinley, man. And I also told you before we left Charlotte it was a bad idea to let Serena come to the track this weekend. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that she would pull some shit like this. What’s even worse is that Tinley is going to see those posts and messages. She’s going to question everything.”

“You think I don’t know that? Do you think I haven’t already gone over every question in my head? Brad told me yet again what they expected of me today. Serena is going to drop an even bigger bomb if I don’t go out to play a happy family with her. What do I do, man? The one woman I have loved and waited for is going to be destroyed, and there is nothing I can do but get on a plane first thing tonight and grovel at her feet and hope she believes me.”

Bracing my shoulder, Matt looks at me. “Listen, I know this is rough, and we both know she’s lying, so why don’t you call Tinley to tell her what’s going on? I’m sure she will at least give you a chance to explain.” I pick up my phone and dial Tinley’s number, only to be met with it going straight to voicemail. My day has gone to shit, and I figure it’s only going to get worse.

A few hours later, I’m headed to my car, arm-in-arm with the woman who just imploded in my life. Smiling as we walk and waving to fans, I know it’s all for show, but a part of me is ready to run and never look back. Yes, I knew that being in the spotlight would hold weight, but never did I think I would be ripping my soul apart because of a job that puts me in a place of power.

“Ry, are you ready to win this one for me, for us?” Serena asks, making a show of rubbing her nonexistent bump so that the surrounding camera can get the shot they want.

Through my clenched jaw, I mutter, “In all that is holy and good, I will sort this lie out, and you will regret ever trying to fuck me over.” I cup her jaw and give her a loving look so that the flashing cameras get what they want. “Now, if you will get out of my way, I need to get ready for the race,” I say, not too nicely. She stops me as I turn toward my car and places a small kiss on my cheek, then walks toward Pit Road with the crew.

Never in my life have I wanted a race to be over more than this one. Luckily for me, once I get in my car and hit the engine, all the anxiety of this morning seems to go away for a brief moment, and I’m able to focus on doing the one thing I love, driving. The car has run great, and the changes we made at practice sorted out all the mistakes.

“Ten laps to go, Ryan. I think you can push that car a little harder and get out in front. You’ve just been biding time the last thirty laps behind Truex,” John says.

“Yeah, I think she can take the extra. Let’s see if she can get around him. I catch Matt in my review as he flips me the bird before I dart in front of him, ready to make my move on Truex, but he sees me coming and blocks my advance.

“Truex will not make it easy. He wants the win and be locked into the next round. You’re going to need to use Matt to slingshot you around him. Back off just a tad and lock up with him,” John urges me.

Slowing my pace just enough for Matt to come up behind me, we work together to team against Truex, and when I see my opening, I shoot off like a rocket, Matt right behind me, with the white flag in the air as we come to the start/finish line.

* * *

I am in a beyond shitty mood by the time I get back home. After returning from post-race interviews and shaking hands with everyone after the win, I’m bone tired and stressed out more than before the race. Everyone kept asking about Serena and the “baby” and if I was happy to become a dad. So, of course, I played the part and smiled the smiles so they would move along with the questions, and I could get the hell out of there. But the longer I stood and answered, the more irritated I became, and Brad could tell, so finally, he said that was all so I could make my escape. But of course, not before Serena could get one more fake moment in. Before changing to head to the plane, I turn my phone on and see the one and only text Tinley sent.

My Girl:

Why would you string me along like this? How could you? Lose my number and don’t call me again? Have a nice time with your model, driver. Thank you for breaking us. You did the one thing that I told you not to do…

During the whole flight home, I sat and looked at her text, and now that I was home sitting on my couch, I was doing the same thing. I tried to call Tinley as soon as I got to my phone, but it was going to voicemail, which didn’t surprise me, and I had left my third pathetic voicemail, hoping that I might hear from her at some point. I had thought about trying to get ahold of her through Grace but thought better of it because, well, Grace was scary on a good day, and she had already given me a very heavy warning when I showed an interest in Tinley at our very first meeting and now that this was out, she would definitively not be on my side even with this being untrue.

This was a conversation that I needed to have face-to-face. The only question was. Would she give me the time of day to have it? This was going to take a grand gesture of epic proportion to get back the girl I loved, and I would pull out all the stops. I just needed a plan.

By the time Monday rolls around, I am mentally and emotionally worn down. Every time I open my phone, I find another text or voicemail from Ryan. I just can’t bring myself to listen to or even read them. I’m not ready to talk to him or hear what a fuck up he was or how sorry he is that this whole thing happened and how she meant nothing. I love you, blah, blah, blah.

“You have got to get out of this bed, Tin. You’re starting to smell, and you still need to finish your last classes for this week,” Mia says, jerking the covers off my body to get me up.

It hadn’t taken my best friend long to see the shock on my face and see the scene playing out in front of us to know that I was destroyed. Less than forty-eight hours—that’s all it took for me to go from the luckiest girl to rock bottom. “Mia, just leave me alone. I want to live in this bed.”

“Nope, no can do, sister. You will not let some guy think he’s won. You are going to get up, shower maybe twice, dress in a cute outfit, and go to class. So, you can either do it on your own, or I’ll drag you in there and do it myself. You pick,” she said.

Rolling over, I sit up, knowing good and well she would make good on the threat of washing me if I don’t do it myself.

“Good girl. Now get started, and I’ll find you a cute outfit to wear.”

After a long ass shower, I make my way into the living room to collect my bag and head to class. Do I feel a little better? Yeah, but I’m still heartbroken. I’m just going through the motions to appease my friends. I know they mean well, but they don’t know what I am feeling or experiencing right now. I just witnessed the love of my life tell all of America he is with someone else, and she is pregnant. Pregnant! That image is still in the forefront of my head. Looking at each other and smiling, then her kissing him on the cheek as he got in the car before the race. I didn’t watch the rest of the race because I’m not a total masochist.

Walking into the library, I feel eyes on me and keep my head down as I move toward a back table to sit out of sight and complete my paper for this final writing class. Just as I get all my papers out, a voice breaks through my haze.

“Hey, Tinley.”

“Hey Chase, what’s up?” I say, trying to sound as normal as I can.

Honestly, I just wanted to check on you. I, um, I saw yesterday’s race, and I wanted to make sure that you were okay, is all.”

“Oh. Okay, well, I’m fine. Thank you for asking,” I tell him.

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