Page 33 of A Brilliant Spring

“Yeah, yeah,” Riley drawls, shooting me the middle finger. “Are ya gonna help me pack now, or what? I need clothes, so I need you to help me pick out the most flattering maternity clothing I have. Things that hide my bump.”

My brows furrow as I frown.

“Why do you want to hide your bump?” Riley’s shoulders fall and her back slouches, her hand rests on her forehead and rubs.

“I just don’t want to flaunt my mistake, especially around my parents. Don’t get me wrong, I love the little Kiwi already. I do. I just…wish I was more ready for this. I didn’t think I’d be twenty-four, unmarried, and pregnant.”

Not that it really matters, but I understand where she’s coming from. If I were to be pregnant right now, I’d be lost. How could I be a parent when I don’t know what it’s like to have parents? The closest thing I have is Lana, and she was our housekeeper. She loved me the best she could, but it’s not the same. I crave my parents’ love and affection, and every time I’m left with nothing, a little piece of me chips away. Now that my father’s gone, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to heal, but at least I can’t break any more because of him.

But now, instead of my father breaking me, it’s Brandt. One man for another, I suppose. Is that how it’s supposed to be? I thought there was one man a little girl could trust and that was her father. Boy, were they wrong. Not only did my father not protect me from men, he threw me to the one who hurt me the most. These last few weeks I’ve really come to terms with how I feel about Brandt. And I love him. No, I’m in love with him. And it hurts so bad I can barely breathe some days. But I get up, put on my face, and make it through the day. Luckily, he doesn’t hang around much at Black & Wells. He only shows his face for the shareholder meetings and leaves quickly after they’re done.

He’s distant, cold, and when he does look my way, he seems angry. Almost uncomfortable with being in the same room as me. The disdain I see on his face breaks off another little piece inside of me. Soon, I’ll be nothing but a shell of who I once was, and that person was already a shell. So, what do you get when there’s a shell of a shell of a person? I miss the warmth that used to be in his eyes when he looked at me. I still feel the heat and the electricity between us, but it’s different from what his demeanour says about him. Us.

Shaking the thoughts from my head, I move from Riley’s room to mine to finish packing. I don’t pack anything fancy, since we’re only going to our hometown and don’t plan on going out at all. So, I shove a couple pairs of American Eagle jeans into my suitcase along with some t-shirts and blouses, and a couple of oversized sweaters. I plan to be comfortable this weekend. I add a few pairs of Lululemon leggings to the suitcase and a pair of running shoes and a sports bra. Who knows when the need to run will be triggered? Although lately, I haven’t been itching to run as much. Is it a coincidence now that my father is gone? I don’t know. But I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Riley calls from her room that she’s finished packing, so I toss in my makeup bag and zip the suitcase up. Grabbing my computer, chargers, and iPhone, I make sure they’re snug and secure in my large black Kate Spade tote. I toss the keys for my Corvette in my purse, grab my suitcase off the bed, and wheel it out to the living area. Once out there, I’m met with Riley, who is scrolling through her phone, perched on the edge of the couch. She has one leg slung overtop of the other one, but it’s slipping because of the baby bump already getting in the way. I smile to myself. She’s going to be so beautiful when she’s big and fully fucking pregnant.

When she notices me standing in front of her, she drops her phone into her purse. She stands up, sighing dramatically while shaking out her sleek raven hair.

“Are we ready to head out?” she whines. My lips tug into a smirk. “Stop fucking smiling at me. I so don’t want to do this, ya bitch. You better be nice to me this weekend.” I burst into laughter, and my reaction to her makes her crack a smile.

“Let’s go, Riles. We’ve got a four-hour drive ahead of us.”

•••

It took longer than four hours to get to Chatham. The traffic leaving Toronto was horrible. Bumper-to-bumper traffic across all six lanes of the 401. We finally pass the reflective population sign for Chatham-Kent at 9:01 PM. We’re both exhausted after five-and-a-half hours of driving, and we only stopped to pee once for Ms. Pregnant-Pants.

My nerves turn to high alert as we get closer and closer to the highway exit. Knowing we’re back in town makes me feel…uneasy? Sentimental? Both? I don’t know, but it’s a mix of emotions I can’t explain. Riley is shaking like a leaf beside me, and I turn on the heat to try to help, but I know it’s all nerves. She’s terrified of facing her parents, and I still don’t know why. I know Brianne and Connor are amazing people and are extremely supportive. And I’m with her. She has nothing to worry about.

“You ready?” I ask, downshifting the Corvette as I take the exit ramp. Riley stares straight ahead and I can barely make out the shake of her head in the dark. “Riles?”

“No, Elissa. I’m not ready.” My heart goes out to her, it really does.

“Well, you really don’t have a choice. Ready or not, the baby is coming, and that means you need to tell your parents as well.” She falls back into the seat and buries her head in her hands.

“I know,” she mumbles through her hands.

We drive on a long stretch of country road, passing farms and an old antique store on the way into town. It always amazes me that my parents chose to live in such a small town. But then again, they didn’t really live here. I did. They mostly spent their time in Toronto during the week and left Lana to raise me, then would only come back on weekends. They still have the house I grew up in, but I never visit it. It was one of the properties my mother received in the will. But I have no intentions of going back there.

It’s about a fifteen-minute drive from the highway into town, unlike getting off at exits along the 401 in the Greater Toronto Area. But it’s a nice, calm drive. It gives you a chance to unwind, for your mind to think without having to worry about highway traffic. I look over at Riley and the glow from the entertainment screen on the dashboard lights up her face, illuminating the worry in her expression. I move my right hand off the gearshift and wrap my fingers around her hands where they rest in her lap.

“I’m here with you. There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

Her eyes find mine briefly before she looks away.

“I know. Thanks, E.”

We’re only a few minutes away from her parents’ house. They recently moved into one of the new subdivisions in the south area of town. Their old house was massive before, and when Riley moved out, you would think they’d have downsized. But no, when they moved this time, they moved into a five-bedroom house with a three-car garage, a fully finished basement, a kitchen that could host an army, and a gorgeous in-ground pool in the backyard.

As we pull into the driveway, a gravelly crunching groan escapes Riley. She really doesn’t want to do this. I give her hand another squeeze, then I push open the door and step out of my car. Riley’s door clicks open and thuds shut a second later, and we meet in the middle around the back of the car at the trunk.

“Can we please just go back home?” I give her a pointed look, pop the trunk, and point to her suitcase.

“Let’s go. Grow some ovaries.”

“Pfft. Ovaries are what got me into this mess,” she mumbles under her breath.

“No, unprotected sex got you into this mess.” Riley whines and groans as she lifts the suitcase out of the trunk, then sets it down on the driveway. She extends the handle with a metallic click and rolls it with her as she goes to the front door. I do the same with mine and haul my massive purse over my shoulder. The trunk rattles the car as it closes, and I stand there, staring up at the massive house as a spark of joy settles in me, knowing I’m about to get a weekend of parental love.

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